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(Michael arrives at the office where Lindsay rides up to him on a photocopier)
Lindsay: We did it, Mikey! We're super rich again! And I'm gonna buy a car, the Volvo.
(She hands him a piece of paper from the photocopier)
Michael: N ... Lindsay, you're not going to start spending money. And this is not a Volvo.
Lindsay: Oh, that's from sitting on the copier.
(She grabs the sheet back)

Oscar: I even started a website: I'm Oscar dot com. I'm innocent, Michael! I'm Oscar! Dot com!
Michael: No, no, don't buy it. I'm taking my son to the cabin, and there's nothing you can say to make me believe that you are not my father.
Oscar: I understand. Your child comes first.
Michael: Oh, my god, you're Oscar.
Oscar: Dot com.

(Oscar pleading to Michael while in prison)
Oscar: I'm your uncle. I'm your dad's twin brother. I'm Oscar, he switched on me! No one believes me.
Narrator: Unfortunately, for Oscar, "You've got the wrong twin" was a popular alibi.
(Cut to Oscar being dragged into the police station handcuffed)
Man in Handcuffs: You simply got the wrong twin.
Arrested Twin #1: We're quadruplets, you got the wrong two!
Arrested Twin #2: We're Larry and Dave!
Arrested Twin #1: You want Curtis and Jack!

Dad's in Reno, Kitty's in Reno, Dad's in Kitty and he must he a blue man.

Michael

Michael: Hey, why don't you pop a tent in front with your cousin Maeby?
George Michael: What? No!
Maeby: I'm not really the outdoorsy type.
Michael: Well, this is a good chance for you to rub off on her.

Steve Holt: You wanna make out?
Maeby: Sure, why not.

Narrator: Next, on Arrested Development...Maeby finds someone to help her forget her cousin: her cousin.

Michael: Uncle Oscar can last one more day in prison.
Narrator: Not according to that day's blog at ImOscar.com.

(about his son, Steve Holt) He's like the father I never had.

Gob

Lucille: I just went off my post-partum depression medication.
Michael: You're still taking that? You had Buster thirty-two years ago.
Lucille: And that's how long I've been depressed about it.

Gob: (embracing Michael) Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it.
Michael: It tastes kind of like sad.

Displaying quotes 13 - 23 of 23 in total

Arrested Development Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

Taste the tears, Michael.

Gob

Gob: (embracing Michael) Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it.
Michael: It tastes kind of like sad.