Michael: Maybe you can bring a date to the cabin.
Lucille: I don't want anybody to go inside that musty claptrap.
Michael: ... Oh, the cabin!

(Driving to the cabin to escape Buster's snoring, Lucille discovers he's asleep in the back seat)
Lucille: Ooh, come on!
Buster: Mother?
Lucille: What the hell are you doing back there?
Buster: I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you. And I left that recording of my snoring so you wouldn't know I'm gone.
Lucille: We're halfway to the cabin, I'm gonna drop you by this light.

(Tobias has just found a way to convince Lindsay that Kitty loves him)
Tobias: If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can resnare my mate!
Narrator: Gee, why wouldn't she want him back?

(Michael arrives at the office where Lindsay rides up to him on a photocopier)
Lindsay: We did it, Mikey! We're super rich again! And I'm gonna buy a car, the Volvo.
(She hands him a piece of paper from the photocopier)
Michael: N ... Lindsay, you're not going to start spending money. And this is not a Volvo.
Lindsay: Oh, that's from sitting on the copier.
(She grabs the sheet back)

Oscar: I even started a website: I'm Oscar dot com. I'm innocent, Michael! I'm Oscar! Dot com!
Michael: No, no, don't buy it. I'm taking my son to the cabin, and there's nothing you can say to make me believe that you are not my father.
Oscar: I understand. Your child comes first.
Michael: Oh, my god, you're Oscar.
Oscar: Dot com.

(Oscar pleading to Michael while in prison)
Oscar: I'm your uncle. I'm your dad's twin brother. I'm Oscar, he switched on me! No one believes me.
Narrator: Unfortunately, for Oscar, "You've got the wrong twin" was a popular alibi.
(Cut to Oscar being dragged into the police station handcuffed)
Man in Handcuffs: You simply got the wrong twin.
Arrested Twin #1: We're quadruplets, you got the wrong two!
Arrested Twin #2: We're Larry and Dave!
Arrested Twin #1: You want Curtis and Jack!

Dad's in Reno, Kitty's in Reno, Dad's in Kitty and he must he a blue man.

Michael

Michael: Hey, why don't you pop a tent in front with your cousin Maeby?
George Michael: What? No!
Maeby: I'm not really the outdoorsy type.
Michael: Well, this is a good chance for you to rub off on her.

Steve Holt: You wanna make out?
Maeby: Sure, why not.

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