Arrested Development Season 1 Episode 20: "Whistler's Mother" Quotes
Tobias: Well, Lindsay, could you use it over there? I'm trying to grow.
Lindsay: Yeah. Well, it's clear that's not going to happen.
Tobias: Well, I've always wanted to remake Annie Hall. Except, I wouldn't want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola, though. Oh, but give me an old pro like a Robert Redford. Oh, I'd jump into bed with him in a second. And I wouldn't just lie there, Michael Bluth, if that's what you're thinking.
Michael: Actually, that time, that was what I was thinking.
Tobias: I just need to prove to my wife that I can act like a man. And it's not about sex. I don't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking.
Michael: That's not what I was thinking.
Michael: Ok, there's still three whistles left out there. Whose got the whistles?
Board Member #1: (blows whistle) He kept one.
Michael: There's a good example of whistle blowing, ok, but you've kept yours, so it's hurting your case.
Board Member #1: I was in the bathroom when you asked for it back.
Board Member #2: (blows whistle) No, he wasn't.
Michael: Well, this money is for land, okay? We're not going to burn through it like Dad did when he was in charge with his bad investments and his corrupt dealings ... Mother's neck ...
Lindsay: No, that was a good investment.
Michael: It is easier to look at now, isn't it?
All your water's doing is whetting my appetite for protest. No hair for oil! No hair for oil!Lindsay
Lucille: It's a hug, Michael; I'm hugging you.
Michael: Well, why?
Lucille: Because you need your mother right now.
Michael: But I don't get along with my ... Sorry, that was - that was a knee jerk.
Lucille: Buster's jaw clicks when he eats. I think it's what's driving his friends away. I sent him to Canada for an operation, so I'll need some of that new money that just came in.
Michael: You know, Mom, if you want an operation that's really going to help him, you ought to have them finally cut that cord.
George Sr.: Michael, this is my brother. Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you?
Michael: Just one? No, no idea. It sounds wonderful, though.
Lindsay: I'm protesting the war. There's a war going on, you know.
Maeby: Yeah. I'm the one who told you, and you said it happened ten years ago.
Michael: Is this about the money?
Michael: What do you want?
Gob: I mean, it's not about money in the sense that I'm coming here saying, "Here, Michael. Take some money." It's just more of a "may I have some" kind of visit.
Maeby: It all adds up. He stole somebody's hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard, tunneled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candy apple on his way to Mexico!
George Michael: Of course! You're mocking me.
Maeby: Of course.