(Michael is talking to Nellie)
Narrator: Hey, let's see what some of the other folks are up to.
(Shot of George Michael doing homework)
Narrator: Nothing there.
(Shot of George, Sr. clipping his toenails)
Narrator: Or there.
(Shot of Buster's nurse getting into bed with him)
Narrator: Oh, my ... Let's get back to Michael.

Lucille: Michael. What a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.

(Lucille's necklace has just stuck to the magnet)
Lucille: That's not a real gold necklace, is it?
George, Sr.: Well, it wasn't really your 50th birthday.

Lindsay: Oh, you know what? I've already prepared a list of "won'ts."
Tobias: Oh, you're not going to believe this. My list is of "can'ts."
Michael: Marital love can be so romantic.

Tobias: I find myself attracted to someone who is not my wife.
Michael: What's her name?
Tobias: Michael. ... Can you believe it?

Narrator: But she did have a list of won'ts.
Nellie: We're gonna have some ground rules first, ok? No (bleep bleep bleep) or (bleep). And no (bleep) unless you're wearing a (bleep) or you (bleep bleep). If this winds up on the Web, I will (bleep) you in the (bleep).
Ted: Our computers don't even work on the internet.

Well, I was buried in loan debt from business school, so I started whoring myself out.


(into the phone) Really? And all the guys like her, huh? That is - that is - that is great. Uh, you mean "away," though, right? Because, otherwise, it sounds a little different, but, uh, that's, uh, that's outstanding. You forgot to say "away" again. But listen, let me call you back in a bit, ok? Bye. (to Lindsay) Nellie has blown them all away.


Tobias: Oh, God, here she is.
Michael: Next to that guy?
Tobias: What guy?
Michael: That guy.
Tobias: No, that's her.
Michael: Him?
Tobias: That's a girl. I think the name "Michael" is making you look for a man.
Michael: I think I'm looking at a man.

Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight.


Michael: I-I'm not interested in you that way.
Tobias: What way?
Michael: Pick one.

Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it's real. It's like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We're twins. You didn't give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you'd just ... you'd go out, and you'd just whore it up Lindsay, you know? Now, she's different. She's a little bit more like me. It's like we finish each other's --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: ... Sentences. Why would I say --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: (nods) That time, I was going to say sandwiches.

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.


Maeby: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a "T" on it?
Michael: That's a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?