George Michael: What do we always say is the most important thing?
Michael: Family? I tried that. It does not work for me.

I'm going to have sex with you. For money.

Michael [to Lucille]

Michael: Where is Gob?
George Sr.: Oh, who knows? I don't even know where he lives.
Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?
Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

Buster: Oh, I'm not comfortable near the ocean since the seal attack. The ocean is my second biggest fear.
Lucille: Good, don't come. I need to be rubbing elbows, not working your fork.

Michael: Hey, are you scared of a monster?
George Michael: Kind of.
Narrator: It was the monster called lust, to which he had recently succumbed.

Michael: Keep in mind, we are building something that is not only for our kids, it's also for George Michael and Maeby's kids too.
George Michael: We can't have kids. What's the matter? What are you saying? It's not even an option really.
Michael: Eventually, you'll want to.
George Michael: Sure, I may want to, you know, now. It doesn't matter. Either way, I won't do anything about it. Come on!

Michael: So, it's embezzlement, bribery and conspiracy.
Lucille: And a whole lot of love.
Michael: Oh, right: and perjury.

Stan Sitwell: Five percent? Lucille actually gave you less than her natural children.
Lindsay: I hope that's not a crack about my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth because at least I'm not the wearing a round sweater set on my face.

Jim Cramer: Let's turn to the Bluth's. I love these guys. They beat the treason charges. We had it as a don't buy. Let's bump it up to a risky.
Michael: Risky! There it is! (high fives George Michael) We're doin' it. Are ya happy?
George Michael: I'm really happy. I wonder if we should move out of town.

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