Arrested Development

Arrested Development Quotes (Page 2)

Season 3 Episode 12: "Exit Strategy"

Tobias: Well, I am off to buy the perfect present. Maybe she'd like a suit like this.
Narrator: That is her suit.
Tobias: Eh, they probably don't make it in a women's, though.
Narrator: They only make it in a women's.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: (sobbing) You came for me, Michael ... or should I say Robot!
Michael: Why? 'Cause I'm not crying?
Gob: Michael, maybe you don't have enough RAM to understand this, but there is such thing as brotherly love. (Sees Buster) ... What is he doing here?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Buster: Take Condoleezza Rice Lane -- it's faster.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Taxi driver in Iraq: Sorry it took so long. The Cheney expressway is backed up all the way to Halliburton Drive.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Iraqi crowd: Burn Bush! Burn Bush!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wayne: Imagine the impact of that scene if it would appear just right after I'd turn the TV on!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Adelaide: Take a single step to share your love, Gary. (The disabled guy takes a step) Ahh! Faker! (slaps him in the face and Gary falls down)
Narrator: She was wrong on that one. It was love that make Gary take that step.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Don't tell me he's not in Iraq.
Wayne: Oh, no, he is. In fact, he is on the news right now. Turn the TV!
Man on the news: Coming up next: Are bees better at sniffing out drugs than dogs?
Wayne: I'm sure it's coming right up. You see, they won't take all day. (Minutes later, and still not on) I bet it's after these unserious ads. It's like they're always there when I turn the TV on.
Cho: Why don't we go online?
Wayne: Cool your Japanese jets. This is just go -- Uh, it's on!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 11: "Family Ties"

Michael: That might be an older sister that we've never met.
Lindsay: Wow! Look at the beak on that bird.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: Well, why don't you just go to Dad and ask him who Nellie is, point-blank?
Michael: So, he can just cover it up and lie? I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: Oh, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael: Ok, but that's the last one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tobias: Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.
Michael: You can just say intercourse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: Well, you know, maybe I would be more attracted to you if you were in better shape. You know, if you were just more muscular and masculine. Does that make me shallow?
Tobias: No. I was going to say the same thing to you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: Oh, you know what? I've already prepared a list of "won'ts."
Tobias: Oh, you're not going to believe this. My list is of "can'ts."
Michael: Marital love can be so romantic.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: Gob, listen. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember growing up with a sister?
Gob: Sister? Uh ... No, I don't. Not really ... ringing any bells.
Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!
Michael: Well, you might not be the most reputable source on this.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I-I'm not interested in you that way.
Tobias: What way?
Michael: Pick one.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Nellie: Well, I was buried in loan debt from business school, so I started whoring myself out.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Narrator: But she did have a list of won'ts.
Nellie: We're gonna have some ground rules first, ok? No (bleep bleep bleep) or (bleep). And no (bleep) unless you're wearing a (bleep) or you (bleep bleep). If this winds up on the Web, I will (bleep) you in the (bleep).
Ted: Our computers don't even work on the internet.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: (into the phone) Really? And all the guys like her, huh? That is - that is - that is great. Uh, you mean "away," though, right? Because, otherwise, it sounds a little different, but, uh, that's, uh, that's outstanding. You forgot to say "away" again. But listen, let me call you back in a bit, ok? Bye. (to Lindsay) Nellie has blown them all away.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tobias: Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Tobias: Oh, God, here she is.
Michael: Next to that guy?
Tobias: What guy?
Michael: That guy.
Tobias: No, that's her.
Michael: Him?
Tobias: That's a girl. I think the name "Michael" is making you look for a man.
Michael: I think I'm looking at a man.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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