Arrested Development

Arrested Development Quotes (Page 3)

Episode 11: "Family Ties"

Gob: A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money ... tricks.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: You know, Gob, this might be that sign from God that you should change your ways.
Gob: No, I think that's going to be something big.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Even if we're not related, I think I would like for you to work here. You're very, very good at it. What you do for a job is not really a great way to make a living, you know?
Nellie: I make 300 grand a year.
Michael: Marry me. It's weird on so many levels.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: The real problem is she keeps saying God is going to show me a sign, the ... something of my ways ... wisdom?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a, uh, uh, a prostitute.
Gob: Of course, she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. (yelling to Nellie in the background) Maybe we can give him a family discount!
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate ... (breaking down) Oh, my God.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maeby: I'm worried you're taking this too seriously.
George Michael: (huffs) Are you ... just the opposite.
("Here Comes the Bride" plays from Maeby's cell phone, George Michael chuckles and looks away)
Maeby: (turns off phone) What the hell is that?
George Michael: I bought you a wedding ring ... tone. (chuckles) Opposite of serious.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it's real. It's like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We're twins. You didn't give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you'd just ... you'd go out, and you'd just whore it up Lindsay, you know? Now, she's different. She's a little bit more like me. It's like we finish each other's --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: ... Sentences. Why would I say --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: (nods) That time, I was going to say sandwiches.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: I find myself attracted to someone who is not my wife.
Michael: What's her name?
Tobias: Michael. ... Can you believe it?
 • Rating: Unrated

(Lucille's necklace has just stuck to the magnet)
Lucille: That's not a real gold necklace, is it?
George, Sr.: Well, it wasn't really your 50th birthday.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: Michael. What a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Michael is talking to Nellie)
Narrator: Hey, let's see what some of the other folks are up to.
(Shot of George Michael doing homework)
Narrator: Nothing there.
(Shot of George, Sr. clipping his toenails)
Narrator: Or there.
(Shot of Buster's nurse getting into bed with him)
Narrator: Oh, my ... Let's get back to Michael.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 10: "Fakin' It"

George Sr.: He, she. What's the difference?
Tobias: Hear hear! In the dark, it's all the same.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Sr.: Who's on the list? Any blabbers?
Michael: Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is unless there's a hand inside of him.
Tobias: Oh, please, Michael. Even then, I wouldn't say anything.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: (as Franklin) Like to see a whore that does that! (as himself) Not the carrying the weight part, but ... on the other hand, if it's free.
 • Rating: Unrated

Brian: Hope you don't mind me saying, but these things can go on indefinitely. My mother's been in that bed for two years.
Lucille: (gasps) Oh, how awful. We don't have a private room.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Michael: Good. I ... great. I was just ... Well, don't answer for ... I, um, yeah. 'Cause I know exactly the cousin, I mean, the ... the girl I would want to give and she'll want give too. We'll ... and we'll do that together. For them, for the sake of ... I ju ... it's a great day. For being sad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Buster: Oh, I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth. (laughs softly) Never let me die.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Narrator: And, so, like many people who no longer felt anything for each other, they decided to get married.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: All they're doing in there is trying to keep people alive. It's a life mill!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hey. What's this?
Gob: Just practicing my testimony. Needed a fake witness box.
Michael: And you couldn't have just taken my stuff off the desk first, or unplugged my computer?
Gob: Justice is swift, Michael.
 • Rating: Unrated

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