Arrested Development

FOX

Season: 3 2 1

Arrested Development Quotes (Page 5)

Episode 9: "S.O.B.s"

Lindsay: They teach self-expression and getting in touch with feelings, Michael. I mean, I know you don't have any.
Gob: The boy who couldn't cry.
Buster: He's a robot! (Buster's prosthetic hand falls off)
Lindsay: Michael can cry. He just doesn't want to rust.
Tobias: Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.
• Rating: Unrated

Michael: Gob, pal, how about you? Can you find some work?
Gob: Oh, sure, Michael. As what, a waiter? Can I get you something, madam?
Lucille: I will have a vodka, though.
(Lucille and Gob laugh)
Gob: What? Oh.
Michael: You know, if you'd ever accidentally worked a day in your life, you'd know that there's no indignity in it.
Gob: Great. She'll have a vodka.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: My son's just fine where he is. And he's got the SAT's coming up. You got to do well on those. You studying upstairs?
George Michael: Yeah, I'm just taking a three real quick, so I can get a cream soda.
• Rating: Unrated

Tobias: You know, Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my analrapist stocking over my head, George Michael has been acting strange lately. I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or the O.C. disorder.
Michael: Don't call it that.
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Michael: My son expresses himself just fine. Isn't that right, son?
George Michael: What? Yeah ... fine. Uh, yes, I don't care. What's up?
Tobias: Yes, he's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.
Michael: I don't know that reference.
Lindsay: I don't either.
Tobias: I don't know either.
Narrator: It's this guy. (an image of men dressed like the Village People is shown, with the "biker" highlighted)
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donnie: Hardly. See, if it were me, I would say I'm Donnie Richter. I have a brother named Andy. He's an attention hog. He can't seem to really attract a real audience, but I love the fat S.O.B. anyway.
• Rating: Unrated

Gob: If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar.
Mrs. Van Skoyk: Oh, Gob ... you could charm the black off a telegram boy.
Narrator: Ok, we should tell you right now. She is the one who dies!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy Dick: And whatever happened to the Muffin Man? Remember him? I always pictured a giant six-foot muffin trying to eat me while I was eating him. It's kind of a fantasy I go to a lot now.
• Rating: Unrated

TV Newscaster: Do you like foam in your coffee? It's called a cap-a-keeno, and you'll never believe what it costs!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 8: "Making a Stand"

Gob: You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: You just thought you'd put the stand right here?
Gob: Did the research. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold here on this boardwalk than anywhere in The O.C.?
Michael: Don't call it that.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: Did you get a lawyer?
Tobias: Only the best-looking and best educated lawyer in the whole O.C.
Bob: Don't call it that.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Gob: Attention, everyone! Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? I give you Barbara and Dee! Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bob: Actually, I was going to stay in my office tonight and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Of course ... the "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful!
• Rating: Unrated

Gob: I've got this Christian girlfriend now, and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son, and I'm trying to get her to renounce god and **** me and I just want to ... prove to her that I'm worth it.
• Rating: Unrated

(While hugging)
Gob: If you feel something moving down there, it's just the bird.
Michael: I know.
(Michael sees the bird still on the counter)
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Gob: It's okay, son. We'll figure it out. When we do, we'll have the last laugh. We'll be the laughing stock of the boardwalk.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Bob Loblaw: As you know, it is very difficult to establish fault in a divorce, but one indicator is fidelity. Now, my client has not pursued sex outside of this marriage.
Tobias: Nor in it.
Bob Loblaw: I got this one.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Steve Holt: Maybe we should work together. I mean, we don't even know the recipe.
George Michael: Oh, there's no recipe. You just freeze the bananas, and then stick it in the -- (Michael stops him)
Steve Holt: Stick it in the what? Stick it in the WHAT?
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0