Arrested Development

Arrested Development Quotes (Page 8)

Episode 5: "Mr. F"

Gob: Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe we should do to the Japanese what they do in their movies. Build a miniature city, put it outside the window, tell them it's far away. It'll look real if you squint. God knows they're squinters. (looks at Larry the surrogate) What do you think, dad? A whole, tiny town.
George Sr./Larry: Another brilliant idea, Einstein.
Gob: Really? You'd like to build it with me?
George Sr./Larry: Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm. It's a stupid idea.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: I barely even know you! Who's Frank?
Frank: Well, I've been wanting to talk to you about that, but it's a little awkward.
Tobias: Oh, well, I've been wanting to have my own awkward talk as well.
Frank: I think we could be more than just gym buddies.
Tobias: You're blowing my mind, Frank.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Talking about Rita)
Michael: You know she's amazing. You know she was in the Olympics?!
Narrator: She wasn't.
Lindsay: She's that Rita Leeds? Wasn't she on the cover of Newsweek?
Narrator: No.
Michael: Yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: What's the surrogate doing here?
George Sr./Larry: We're meeting with the lawyers, so I've hired this guy to be my eyes and ears.
Michael: You know, dad, this guy costs us a fortune.
Larry: He's worth every penny.
George Sr.: Hey, I didn't say that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I was at the property the Japanese funded today. The whole backside has moles.
Tobias: That's Frank's problem, too.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bob: Somebody tipped them off that the property wasn't ready for building
Lucille:Which it would have been if Michael wasn't so busy with his English muffin.
Gob: Typical.
Buster: Delicious.
Lucille: I need a drink.
Buster: I'll take an English muffin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: I think he's being sarcastic, Gob.
Buster/Larry: No, I'm not, mother. I mean, lover. I like making love to mother ... I mean, lover.
Gob: Oh, my god, Buster. Is that you?
Buster/Larry: ... Yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 4: "Notapusy"

Tobias: Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Steve Holt: There's no "I" in "win"!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I was thinking you and I should maybe go play a little catch. You know, maybe go for a run, do some guy stuff.
George Michael: But we're not good at that stuff.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.
Michael: Yeah, I think you just did.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: (about Steve Holt) Your son?
Gob: According to him.
Michael: And a DNA test.
Gob: I heard the jury's still out on science.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I'm not going to lie to your son.
Gob: Come on! I lie to yours all the time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Steve Holt: Don't ask "Can I?" Ask "I can."
 • Rating: Unrated

Steve Holt: You can control your bladder when you're dead.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pageant Host: And now please welcome Annabelle Veal, performing "We Three Kings" with a camel tow.
 • Rating: Unrated

Narrator: George Sr. came across a U.S. Army combat humvee and the Pope-Mobile, and he decided to escape in the bullet-proof one.
(George Sr. steals the Pope-Mobile)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Talking before a beauty pageant)
Ann: I could sing to the camel!
Tobias: Yes, we can Google some disco songs with the word 'hump' in them.
Ann: Cute.
George Michael: No, that sounds a bit racy.
Tobias: Okay, he may be afraid of sex but you're not going to win without it.
George Michael: No, I'm not afraid of sex.
Tobias: Oh, good. Have sex with this girl right now. Do it. Go. Get in there, have some sex with her right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: I think we all feel that way about our mothers. And we all have legs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: I'm gonna be busy this weekend being a Judge Pageant.
Narrator: Gob has been a Judge Pageant for years.
Gob: Can you believe what it does to your sex life?
Michael: I don't wanna hear it.
Gob: I don't wanna say it. First place, chick's hot, but has an attitude: doesn't date magicians. Second place, is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third of all, although a little bit plain, her super low self-esteem. So I step in and lay her 'crown' upon my sweet 'head'.
Michael: Have I missed this euphemism?
 • Rating: Unrated

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