Lucille: "We yelled at you to leave.
Buster: But then you whispered 'Don't pull out.'
Gob: GAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH.

George Sr.: I always talk about being a great man. Maybe the way to do that isn't by being the biggest businessman in Southern California. It's by...
Oscar: It's by being the best brother in Southern California.

Oh great, now you're gonna make me cry. Oh look! A lizard!

Dr. Norman

Sitwell: This isn't what it looks like!
George Sr.: Oh really? Cause it looks like a monument to George W. Bush.
Sitwell: Well you got me.

George Sr: Where's Barry?
Lucille: He's with the harbormaster. He's trying to dazzle them with a suit of his own.
Barry: Well, he hated the suit. Thought I was making fun.

(with her mind) Did you pay my FICA yet? Got it. Not in front of the seekers.

Heartfire

George Michael: What do we always say is the most important thing?
Michael: Family? I tried that. It does not work for me.

I'm going to have sex with you. For money.

Michael [to Lucille]

Michael: Keep in mind, we are building something that is not only for our kids, it's also for George Michael and Maeby's kids too.
George Michael: We can't have kids. What's the matter? What are you saying? It's not even an option really.
Michael: Eventually, you'll want to.
George Michael: Sure, I may want to, you know, now. It doesn't matter. Either way, I won't do anything about it. Come on!

George Michael: I mean, I know it's wrong, you know, but my feelings are real even if it was a mistake.
Michael: Well, obviously, acting on those feelings is not an option. She's a blood relative.
George Michael: I know. I've seen the blood.
Michael: How long has this been going on?
George Michael: I don't know ... 53 weeks? I can't be around her with these feelings anymore, and that's why I'm not going to this party.

Lucille: Michael's right. And I, for one, will not go back to wondering whether there's going to be enough food on the table. (Table creaks and wobbles)
Michael: Might wanna start worrying about the table.

Stan Sitwell: Five percent? Lucille actually gave you less than her natural children.
Lindsay: I hope that's not a crack about my hair color, lips, forehead, nose and teeth because at least I'm not the wearing a round sweater set on my face.

Arrested Development Quotes

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom

There's no "I" in "win"!

Steve Holt