Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Season 1 Episode 22: "Let 'Em Eat Cake"

Kitty: Gob, this is your time. With my help, knowing what I know, we could take over the Bluth Company together.
Gob: Wow, this is a side of you I'd never noticed before. Have they always been that big?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: Look, I need to become self-reliant. It's not going to last with Tobias. He's completely oblivious. He's got no idea how I'm feeling or thinking.
Michael: So, there's no sex?
Lindsay: I mean, how do you not have sex with me?
Michael: It is a struggle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barry: Our star witness. Come here. Good to see you. You know what? Don't get too close to me. 'Cause I've got an itch you can't believe. I think something laid eggs on me.
Michael: Thanks for the heads up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I might not be the best witness either. I got a phone call from Kitty this morning.
Barry: Your secretary?
George Sr.: My secretary.
Michael: She says that she's got some evidence, and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands.
Gob: Oh, that is just great. Now, I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's "Oh, let's have Gob (bleep) our way out of it."
 • Rating: Unrated

Narrator: Tobias, walking down a street he'd been down many times, saw a book he'd written years earlier as a psychiatrist. The book, initially unsuccessful, had suddenly caught fire ... Although, strangely, only in the gay community.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: Is that a shot at me?
Gob: Probably.
Lindsay: Because, for your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
Gob: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
Gob: Beads?!
Michael: Gob's not on board.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: Oh. Good. Well, I'll start my own business. How hard can it be? (Buzzes) Bzz! We'll see who brings in more honey. (Buzzes and walks off)
Michael: He's thinking about bees again.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: The zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: I'm in charge now. I speak for this family. I mean ... I could if you wanted me to. I'd rather not, obviously. Don't know what I'd say. Why do I have to be the one? I don't need this. Why does this have to become my problem? No, I'm out. Forget it. Find somebody else. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of doing everything for this family.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: Don't you worry. It'll take a lot more than a heart attack to kill that old bear. (starts sobbing) Old bear! He likes the honey! He never got a chance to see my bee business take off.
Michael: C'mon now. Dad's gonna be around another thirty years, Gob. Your business, uh, might not.
Gob: You're a good brother, Michael. Heart attack never stopped old big bear!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 21: "Not Without My Daughter"

George Michael: You know, say what you will about America. Thirteen bucks still gets you a hell of a lot of mice.
Gob: Who said anything bad about America?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Patient: There's like this longing ... this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of ... ?
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She's right, though. You probably are a homosexual.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tobias: I must warn you, Michael, she doesn't respond well to strict directives.
Maeby: All right.
Tobias: That was odd.
Michael: Not really. Kids love boundaries. I mean, look at these girls. (Talking about the "Girls with Low Self-Esteem" tape) Is this what you want?
Tobias: Oh, God, no.
Michael: This could be where your daughter is headed.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I don't want this for Maeby either.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Lindsay, new outfit?
Lindsay: This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.
Michael: You got a price tag. Right there.
Lindsay: Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Michael: What about the outfit yesterday?
Lindsay: Old thing gave it to me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: What? What's going on?
Annyong: Ok. Mother want someone to go to my soccer game with. She don't want other soccer moms think that she is single mother. She old school.
Michael: I liked it better when he just said "Annyong".
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: (answering cell phone) Hello? Oh, hey, George Michael. Uh, I'm sorry? In your pants? I'll be right there. (hangs up) Um, my son has an emergency.
Detective Fellows: You know, there's a Grover book: "I Can't Hold It In." Worked for us.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: Ok, but I never meant to break up your family. Your mom called me for a reason. I-I don't think she's happy.
Buster: No, she's happy. She's just mean all the time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: Well, they expect a certain amount of theft, Michael. It's built into the price. If I didn't take it, then people would be overpaying for nothing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I gave you permission to use the yacht. You blew it up.
Gob: Yeah, well, if you give someone permission to use a tissue, you can't be upset if they blow their nose. Right? I mean ...
 • Rating: Unrated

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