Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 1 Episode 12: "Marta Complex"

Carl Weathers: Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now, you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George Michael: What are you doing?
Maeby: I'm just trying to throw stuff at my dad's head, but the wind keeps taking it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael:So, on a very unusual Valentine's Day, cheers to Mom and Dad, to Buster and Lucille....
Buster: Don't forget my girlfriend.
Michael: That's who I meant.
 • Rating: Unrated

Buster: Hey, brother, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your speech yesterday -- about family and being true to ourselves.
Michael: Oh ... well, I'm glad it made an impact.
Buster: Yeah. I never want to look at mom again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: Great speech last night.
Michael: Really? What did it inspire you to do, kill somebody?
Gob: Getting there. Marta's cheating on me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: And she kept using this guy's name like, "Hermano."
Michael: Let me tell you something, Gob. We're going to track this Hermano down, ok? And we're going to nail him. Because if anyone's going to go out with that girl, it's going to be one of us.
Gob: Right. Me.
Michael: And I'm ok with that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maeby: I don't get it. Why do we have to change rooms?
Lindsay: Cousins of the opposite gender shouldn't be sharing a room.
George Michael: But that's just the point. I mean, we're cousins. You know, gender has nothing to do with it. Cousins can bunk together. That's why they call it "bunking cousins."
Lindsay: They call it "kissing cousins."
George Michael: We're not kissing. That's the point.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Excuse me. I'm looking for an Hermano.
Soap Actor #1: (in Spanish, subtitled) My brother? Right there.
Michael: Right there, in the green? Great. Thanks. Gracias. Hermano. Are you Hermano?
Soap Actor #2: (in Spanish, subtitled) My brother? Right there.
Michael: That's the guy who just ...
Soap Actor #2: Mm-hmm.
Michael: Son of a bitch.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Buster: Hey, brother-in-law.
 • Rating: Unrated

Narrator: And suddenly Buster realized Marta was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Buster: I've been dating an old lady.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: I'm gonna speak very carefully in case she's with you.
Michael: You're right.
Gob: Right about what? She's there? What's going on? Who's with you? If it's Marta, say "nobody."
Michael: Nobody.
Gob: Well, now I don't know what's going on!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: 14 years of lies. Yes, I'm the doctor. The perfect husband. The big manly man. The big strong daddy. Do you know the last time that I made love to my wife?
George Michael: No.
Tobias: I'll tell you when.
George Michael: No, don't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marta: Well, as you said, finding out who you really are, it can be painful, but you can't live a lie.
Michael: No, I can't, but some people find a way to make that work.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: No, no, no, there's a shower scene? I have to be nude?
Carl Weathers: Hey, you don't shower with your clothes on, now, do you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 11: "Public Relations"

Jessie: Daddy lost his shot at happy and it's all your fault, Opie.
Narrator: Jessie had gone too far and she had best watch her mouth.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

George Sr.: Gentlemen, we do not wave our genitals at one another to make a point!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: (to Michael) So, you didn't get any while you were in high school, and now you're not going to get any while George Michael's in high school.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Reporter: Where's Earl Milford?
Gob: I-I don't know. I put him in a box. I didn't kill him, alright? And don't edit this for your broadcast so it looks like I'm screaming, "I killed Earl Milford!"
(Cut to Fox6 News)
John Beard: Startling confession tonight at 11:00.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jessie: There are very few intelligent, attractive, and straight men in this town.
Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out. She said single.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "Arrested Development" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!