Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes
Ms. Baerly: Do you have a wife?
Michael: Yeah, but she's dead.
(they both laugh)
Ms. Baerly: Have you ever been married?
Michael: Yeah, she died.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, God, why are we laughing?
George Michael: This is my Ethics essay. I'm supposed to write 200 words on the morality of war-whether a preemptive strike is ever justified.
Michael: Absolutely. It's preemptive, you know? Happened before something else, so... if you can predict aggression, and you want to squash it... I don't know why you're not typing this. It's all good.
George Michael: I'm not sure my Ethics teacher would love if I cheated on my essay.
Michael: Well, you just passed my Ethics test.
Ms. Baerly: Sweet ride. Are you making dinner reservations?
Michael: No, no. That was my mom. She just had a little Korean dropped off.
Ms. Baerly: Ooh, that sounds good. Let's have that.
Gob: Oh, Nagama, you've got a moustache.
Michael: Hey.
Gob: I mean, you've got milk on your moustache. I mean, you've got a milk moustache.
Cindi Lightballoon: Mr. Bluth, I'm Cindi Lightballoon. I've studied all your teachings, and I've purchased every tape, and I watch them over and over... I've also lost four pounds on your low-carb Bluth Banana Jail Bars. I've come to learn at your feet.
George Sr.: That's a good place to start.
But Gob mistook Michael's basic human decency for a romantic interest, and felt a competitive urge to step in.
Narrator
Lindsay: Hey, look, it's not coming from me. It's George Michael. He told me. I think he wants a mother.
Michael: Well, that's ridiculous. He's got you. He's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off the entire concept.
Ms. Baerly: I don't know. I mean, they just threw this class at me after Mr. Daniels had a stroke.
Michael: Oh! (Both laugh) I had him; Mr. Daniels. How is he?
Ms. Baerly: Oh, he, you know, had a stroke.
Michael: Oh. I thought you were joking.
Ms. Baerly: Welcome. I'm Miss Baerly, the Ethics teacher. My goal is to teach your children about the preciousness of life that can be lost by the mindless pulling of a trigger.
Michael: Mmm. No ring.
Lucille: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do with him. At least, I think it's a him. You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
Michael: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services, and although they don't like to do this, if you can prove that it's a bad environment for a child, and I would suggest saying what you just said to me. Don't change a word. They will take him back.
Gob: This is Shannon, the girl I've been telling you all about.
Michael: Yes. Girl, indeed. Young girl. That's a young, young, young girl.
Gob: Yeah. Well, she's 18, so it's, like...
Ms. Baerly: ... even minor crimes are punishable by brutally chopping off the offender's hand.
George Michael: Oh. No ring.
