Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 1 Episode 11: "Public Relations"

Jessie: And Tobias, you're a medical doctor and you're living an absurd fantasy as an actor. It's time to get real.
Tobias: Wow. It's a tough talk, but I like it. You're saying, "land a major film".
 • Rating: Unrated

Narrator: Buster so excelled at being neither seen, nor heard, that he remained at the school, undetected for a full two semesters after he was supposed to graduate.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Okay sure she's cute, I suppose. I mean now that you're making me think about it, uh, she's cute. She's a cutie. Little cutie pie. But I never really noticed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jesse: It allows me to put Michael front and centre, he needs to be the new face of this family. He is the only likeable one in the bunch, no offense.
Michael: None taken.
Gob: I'm sorry. Isn't Michael the least likeable one in the family?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Murdered, huh? Who died?
Gob: My career.
Michael: I'm going home now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Various Characters: You can always tell a Milford Man.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: You seem like a man of taste and class.
Man at bar: I'll give you $2,000 to touch me.
(Tobias and Carl Weathers enter bar)
Lindsay: Oh, my god, my husband.
Man at bar:You're married to Carl Weathers? S***!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Buster moves to the kitchen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Charles Milford: Things have changed around here. We have talking sessions throughout the day. We even have a talking room where students are encouraged to go in and talk to their heart's content.
George Michael: Sounds like fun.
Michael: First thing he's said all day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Are you talking about the fact that my father is in jail? Because I don't like to be compared to my father, either.
George Michael: I don't mind being compared to my father.
Michael: Save it for the talk room, son.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I can assure you that my family is back on track and no longer in any trouble.
Charles Milford: Not according to today's paper.
Michael: Oh, God, what have we done this time?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: If I still had money, I'd buy a Klimpy's just to burn it to the ground.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hostess: Mrs. Bluth, there's absolutely no room.
Lindsay: Come on. I've suddenly lost my appetite.
Lucille: Oh, who's going to believe that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Waitress: Welcome to Klimpy's. Anywhere you like.
Lucille: This does not bode well.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: (sobbing) How can you treat me this way?!
Lucille: Oh, please! Everything I've said about you can be covered with makeup and a lie about a thyroid problem. Good grief almighty! You think I'm enjoying my slide into poverty?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I met a publicist today. I'm going to hire her. We need somebody to make us look good.
Lucille: And I say it's a waste of money. We're-we're plenty sympathetic as we are. Is this your onion?
Lupe: Yes.
Lucille: What's in the foil?
Lupe: Nothing. It's a ball of foil for my son.
Lucille: Have a great day, sweetie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: (to Jessie) Instead of us getting jobs, why don't you do your job and tell everyone we've got jobs?
 • Rating: Unrated

Buster: Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do.
Jessie: Excellent question. What a publicist does ...
Buster: No, no, I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?
George Michael: At the banana stand.
Buster: Oh, duh. I thought you meant, like, a plumber or something, and I was, like, when did that happen?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jessie: Your father's religious now? We'll play that up. It's very sympathetic.
Lucille: Yeah. Who doesn't love the Jews?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jessie: I think it's best if you got a job.
Lindsay: Oh, come on! I'm a parent, I care about my daughter every bit as much as Michael cares about his son.
Maeby: What grade am I in?
Lindsay: What kind of job?
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Arrested Development" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!