Lucille: I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.
Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?

George Michael: Why would he do that? Why would Gob sleep with my Ethics teacher?
Michael: Probably just to get even with me.
George Michael: How would that be getting even with you? I'm the one that likes her.
Michael: Right. Right. No, I know. You and I know that, but Gob, you know, he's not that exact of a target shooter. He just kind of sprays it everywhere.

Ms. Baerly: Oh, hi. Hi, George Michael. I was just looking at this model home. I'm going to go home and think about it. I'm going to go home and think about it.
George Michael: Dad, what was she doing here? I mean, she wasn't ...
Narrator: Michael knew he had an ethical responsibility to tell his son the truth.
Michael: Yes. Your Uncle Gob slept with her.

Maeby: Who's this?
Buster: Oh, I'm sorry. This is Annyong.
Annyong: Annyong.
Subtitles: Hello.
Buster: My mom bought him. She's making me register him for school. He's my new little brother.
Maeby: So, we're related. Hey, do you want to go to a dance?
George Michael: Oh, great, another uncle to compete with.

Narrator: So, George Michael, still angry at Gob, sought out the family expert on making trouble.
Maeby: I know he was dating that girl Shannon.
George Michael: The cheerleader?
Maeby: Yeah, she's probably going to take him to that stupid Diversity Dance. I wish I had someone shocking to take. You know, I actually called Mr. Daniels and asked him, but he got all out of breath and dropped the phone. I never heard back.
George Michael: You know, maybe we should go together. All right, I mean, it's a bad example, I just ... but should we?

Michael: Again. Didn't like Nazhgalia.
Gob: Really?
Michael: Really. And good luck getting rid of her.
Gob: Oh, please. Not a problem. She knows it was a one-time thing. Totally cool.
(Phone rings)
Michael: So romantic.
Gob: Who's N. Bahn-Ahden?

Don't you think you should be taking somebody your own age to the dance, like your cousin? Bad example, but ...


Ms. Baerly: Wow! Did you make this for me? This is so sweet. I love Hussein.
Michael: You mean, you're interested in him.
Ms. Baerly: Oh, yes. He is a monster. Wow, where did you find this one of him in a Speedo?

You're trying to steal from the wrong man. Watch your back, my little immigrant friend.


Michael: I don't think us sleeping together is working out. You're a grown man. You should be living with your mother.
Buster: Yeah. I miss mom.
Michael: I can tell.

Ms. Baerly: He knows we're going out. He saw me this morning.
Michael: No, no. I covered that. I told him that you slept with my brother.
Ms. Baerly: That may be the most unethical thing I have ever heard.
Michael: Well, you've only been doing this half a semester. Look, it was a preemptive strike. My brother would have tried to sleep with you.

Nazhgalia: I'm sorry, Michael.
Gob: I'm sorry, too, Michael, but ... looks like we're even. You took something I liked, I took something you liked. Yeah. I (bleep)ed Nazbakalijan.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.