Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes (Page 21)

Season 1 Episode 7: "In God We Trust"

Michael: I love Marta.
Lindsay: Mom's housekeeper?
Michael: Gob's girlfriend.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Michael: (counting pushups) 100.
Maeby: 100? I had you at ten.
George Michael: I did some earlier in the day. It's a running total.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maeby: You ever get the feeling like no one even sees you?
George Michael: I've got a really good body, so ... No.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tobias: Oh, give me the suit. Give me the suit.
George Michael: I'm actually wearing it right now, but I can't tell you why.
Tobias: You're wearing it right now?
George Michael: I have to wear it all the time. You ... you'd never understand.
Tobias: Oh, please, I'll never un ...? I'll never understand? That you can never be nude? I understand more than you'll ... never know.
George Michael: Yikes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wayne Jarvis: Well, I'm a professional. I am serious, and I'm a professional.
Michael: That's fantastic. So, how long have you been ...?
Wayne Jarvis: I also don't like small talk.
Michael: No?
Wayne Jarvis: I find that unprofessional.
Michael: Mm-hmm.
Wayne Jarvis: Why should I be billing you for small talk when I'm enjoying it as much as you are?
Michael: Then, this must be a freebie 'cause I'm having a ball.
Wayne Jarvis: (chuckles) When you're ready to get serious, give me a call.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wayne Jarvis: If you retain my services, I will get your father out of jail, and we will be counter suing before the end of the year. We're going to get this company's name back to where it started.
Michael: Or hopefully higher.
Wayne Jarvis: I didn't say that. Don't hold me to that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind the couch.
Michael: What a pro.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Oh, um ... there's a big bowl of candy in my office. Why don't you go eat it?
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis, attorney at law. I have a responsibility to tell you that there is no candy in this office.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: What are you doing here?
Gob: I had to get away from Marta. Ugh. If I have to smell another meal of fish, rice and mango, I'm going to kill somebody.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: My thing with Tobias was a secret, like you stealing your brother's girlfriend, you little weasel. I mean, I open up to you, you run off and tell Mommy.
Michael: Excuse me. Excuse me! Outside, please. Thank you. Pardon us. Like it wasn't just a bunch of lies to get me to pay that debt, huh? Isn't that why you got me drunk in the first place?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Excuse me, Wayne, my sister and I were outside having a business discussion, and we were wondering if there's some sort of legal way that we can humiliate our mother? Something shaming, something public.
Wayne Jarvis: I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it?
Michael: Professional.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille 2: You ready to show me off before God and the whole world?
Buster: Well, it's not my Dad's reaction I'm worried about.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monti: You know, I saw you do this when I was a kid. I was so impressed, you know. You were so still and god-like. You know, it was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer.
George, Sr.: Glad I could make a difference.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage car.
Michael: Guy's a pro.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Dad, you're not going to outrun me in that dress!
George, Sr.: Come on. Michael, let go!
Michael: Dad!
George, Sr.: For God's sake, I'm not even wearing a jock.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maeby: You ever get the feeling like you don't even matter?
Lucille: Only when I'm around my children.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maeby: I don't think you're a monster.
Lucille: And I think you're a lovely girl. You know what? I think you and I ought to spend more time together.
Maeby: Yeah. And that'll drive them crazy.
Lucille: Exactly.
 • Rating: Unrated

George, Sr.: Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve.
Barry: Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: How'd it go?
Michael: Well, the bad news is you're in debt again, and we never busted Mom, and we're stuck with Barry.
Lindsay: Mm.
Michael: The good news is we've been asked never to participate in the pageant again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 6: "Visiting Ours"

Kitty: Do you like my outfit?
Gob: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.
Kitty: Gob!
Gob: No, I need your chair. Get up.
 • Rating: Unrated

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