Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes (Page 23)

Season 1 Episode 5: "Charity Drive"

Kitty: (to investors) Bye, you guys! Really great to see you again ... (to Michael) They think you're full of (bleep). I think it's the sweating.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: Give me a "Gob."
George Michael: Gob!
Gob: No, I didn't mean for you to yell my name at me. It's what I call a double-dipped banana with everything on it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hey, I can't believe you. I asked you two weeks ago whether we should use Dad's car, and you said it would be bad form. Now, I hear you're driving it!
Gob: That is a lie. A bald-faced lie.
Narrator: Gob was lying. He had been driving his father's car.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: What car? I don't know what you're talking about.
Michael: Dad's car. The one you didn't tell me that you had, even though I had to ride my bicycle to work all week.
Lindsay: Oh, Dad's car. Well, obviously, I'm going to use it if it's an emergency.
Narrator: Lindsay had such an emergency three days earlier when her salon was able to squeeze her in at the last moment.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I don't do anything for myself. Everything that I do is for this family.
Lindsay: Oh, you don't do it for us, Michael. You just do it because you love being the guy in charge. 'Cause you love saying no. Like you said to Gob when he wanted a frozen banana. And even after he gave you the rights to his "Mr. Banana-Grabber" character.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: Supposedly, Luz had to take her daughter to the hospital. That's Lupe, her sister.
Michael: I hope she's okay.
Lucille: She's awful. Can barely wash a dish.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: Don't you judge me. You're the selfish one. You're the one who charged his own brother for a Bluth frozen banana. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars?
Michael: You've never actually set foot in a supermarket, have you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: (to Lucille 2) I got you tickets to "The Producers". I already saw it in New York. But that's of no use to a woman whose vertigo makes flying a grotesque misadventure.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hey, Busty, have you been using Dad's car?
Buster: No ... Well, yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Gob, can I talk to you for a sec? Listen, um ... I'm really sorry about before. I said some things, and I got a little carried away. It's not the way you're supposed to treat a brother. Especially one that I value so highly. Oh, I need a favor.
Gob: That was subtle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: (to a Taxi Driver) I don't know if that smell is you, the car, something you ate, or something you're about to eat, but my God, you're in a service business.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: All right, take this lock-pick, break into the permit office for me.
George Michael: I think I'd better check with my dad first.
Maeby: You're going to break into a permit office? Sweet. Can I come?
Narrator: And George Michael saw a chance to get closer to Maeby.
George Michael: You know, my dad hates to micromanage. Let's just do this.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Michael: What are you doing? We're supposed to put the form in the wrong file.
Maeby: I know. I'm just leaving my calling card.
George Michael: I thought we didn't want anyone to know we were here.
Maeby: Well, it's a little late for that. Our fingerprints are everywhere.
George Michael: But you said they weren't gonna check for fingerprints.
Maeby: No, I said don't wear your mittens. I didn't want you to look stupid on the security cameras.
George Michael: There's a security camera?
 • Rating: Unrated

George Michael: Save yourself. I'll take the hit. My record's clean. Well, I got my bike seat stolen once, but I don't think it counts on your record if you're the victim. I mean, there is a record, but it's not like --
Maeby: Yeah, thanks. I'll take the rap next time we do something like this, okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: (loudly) Well, how embarrassing. My own brother buying me? I'd rather die. (whispers to Michael) Thank you. Maybe you're not that selfish.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 4: "Key Decisions"

Lindsay: I've always been very passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest?
Michael: Oh, I'll never forget your wedding.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: Get out of our f***ing tree.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Lucille: When's the last time you went on a date?
Michael: I just haven't met anybody who's not completely self-absorbed and impossible to have a conversation with.
Lucille: If that's a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucille: I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael: Uh, you know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother.
Lucille: Well, this is why people hate hospitals.
 • Rating: 3.9 / 5.0

Narrator: And Lucille was mingling with the elite of the Latino Television Academy.
Lucille: Can I get a vodka tonic, please? I'd like a vodka tonic, please. Vodka tonic, please. A sea of waiters, and no one will take a drink order.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "Arrested Development" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!