Lucille: Oh, don't give me that look. I happen to be a more caring mother than most.
Buster: Where's my bed?
Lucille: I put it in storage.

Buster: And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.
Michael: It sounds a little bit like dating Mom.
Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.

Michael: I'm a saint, you know. I'm a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.
Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority.
Michael: That is nice, but this time it's not enough.

Rallo: Tell me, where did you get two alliance approved assistants on such short notice?
Gob: Oh, no, that was just my girlfriend and my nephew!
Rallo: You're back out.

Cab driver: Where to, mate?
Tobias: The Gothic Castle.
Cab driver: Gothic a**h*le?
Tobias: That's what I said!

George Michael: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm doing a little cost projection analysis for a mini mall.
George Michael: Wow, that's pretty cool you know how to do all that stuff.
Michael: Yeah, maybe your old man's just a little bit cooler than you thought he was, huh?

Marta: I was just looking for Gob.
Michael: Well, you're his girlfriend.
Narrator: Michael wished Marta was his girlfriend, a secret he had only shared with Lindsay.
Marta: Actually, we had a big fight. He thought I was belittling his career, but I never would do that.
Michael: Neither would I. What career?
Marta: The magic?
Michael: Oh, the tricks, the little tricks. Those are great.

Gob: Real needle, real apple. Real neck.
Amable: He's a zombie!
Marta: They're children! How could you do that?
Gob: Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done.

Michael: Well, he hasn't been here.
Marta: But he said he was staying here. Oh, my God. Maybe he's staying with another woman.
Michael: No, no, no. No, no, no. No, he is staying here. I just haven't seen him here ... the foyer, or the kitchen.
Marta: Well, that's a relief.

Lindsay: You are too nice.
Michael: Oh, come on, what was I supposed to do, tell her that Gob is not staying here? Tell her that Gob is screwing around on her, God knows where he is? Actually, that-that sounded okay.

Maeby: Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine.
George Michael: So, I'm thinking of getting a motorcycle.

Tobias: There's my little girl. I've got great news. Daddy has the entire day off.
Maeby: But you have every day off ... You don't have a job.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.