Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 1 Episode 18: "Missing Kitty"

Lindsay: Ok, I tell you what. I'll take you down to see Nana if you split the money with me 60-40.
Maeby: 55-55.
Lindsay: Deal.
Michael: Sounds like you guys are getting more than you think.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: Where's Nana?
Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Picks up phone)
George Michael: Good afternoon, Bluth company. Talk you off? Talk you off of what, Pop-pop?
George Sr.: George Michael. Oh. Hey, I thought you were ... When's that voice going to drop?
 • Rating: Unrated

Maeby: The only real way to find out how it's done is to sneak on the boat while he does it.
George Michael: Yeah, but then if he makes it disappear, won't everyone just see me standing there?
Maeby: Let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement was ... Anyway, if it was me, that's what I would do.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Sr.: What are you doing firing Kitty? You can't fire Kitty. First of all, you don't have hiring and firing power.
Michael: I do, and I had to... She's crazy.
George Sr.: Well, that's why you don't fire her. You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: Speaking of which, have we gotten anything from Nana?
Michael: Buster got a perforated heart and Gob got that receding hairline, but you and I pretty much dodged the bullet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: I sunk it! I sunk the yacht! At least I think I sunk it. I mean, I blew it up and I don't see it anywhere. Oh, God, my heart was in my throat when that curtain came down and I'm looking out --
Michael: You sank the yacht? You sank a $700,000 yacht?
Gob: With $900,000 worth of insurance on it. And got rid of the evidence. How about a "Good job"?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Narrator: As Gob was forced to send away someone he loved, George Sr. was forced to visit someone he had once tried to shove out of a moving car.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: Spring break. It's my favorite holiday. Nothing gets me more excited.
Michael: I can see that. You might wanna button that shirt up.
Gob: Nah, I'm good.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 17: "Justice Is Blind"

Lindsay: I've always been very passionate about the separation of church and state.
Michael: What are you going to do with them?
Lindsay: Oh, I don't know. Give them to a school.
 • Rating: Unrated

Surely: And this is the man who inspired me. George Michael Bluth. He is the one who is responsible for the new ramps at our school, and he will carry on my legacy, and put an end to BS!
George Michael: Surely can beat this thing!
All: (chanting) No more BS! No more BS!
 • Rating: Unrated

Maeby: Plus, who's going to get mad at the dying girl?
George Michael: Surely's dying?
Maeby: I figure I'll kill her off just before graduation just so everyone gets really sad before prom.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maggie: Did you ever see him return from these trips with anything unusual?
Buster: He once came back once with a black statue with an erect penis. It stayed in our living room until my aunt objected.
 • Rating: Unrated

Maggie: So, what about us? We were starting to establish some trust. Except for all the lies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: And now you love the ten commandments. And yet you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord".
Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Maggie: It's like the ten commandments saying, you know. "Be true to thine own self, and to thine own self.."
Michael: "... be true." Yeah, number seven.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: All right, listen. This is all getting a little crazy. We cannot accept their conditions if we don't even know what their conditions are.
Barry: Do you wanna read it?
Michael: I know it's thick. Why don't we just take it?
Barry: I could kiss you on the *bleep*.
Michael: Ah, well it's -- what?!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 16: "Altar Egos"

Narrator: That morning, however, she had some startling news for him.
Cindi: I'm a mole.
George Sr.: Well, you know, God - God doesn't care how big your teeth are. Yes, you could go to a dentist and you could, whoo - you could grind off about - I don't know - 30%. Maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn't miss it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I actually had a pretty interesting night myself.
Gob: Really? What'd you do, read the plea?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: I told you to walk away. I told you to give a fake name.
Michael: I did. Thanks very much. I'm Chareth Cutestory, a pirate lawyer. It was airtight.
 • Rating: Unrated

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