Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes
Michael: (regarding Maggie) I certainly can't take advantage of her now, knowing what I know.
Gob: What? No, Michael, you can. Don't you...? You just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics. She can't ever find you again. Don't you see that you're so lucky? God, how do you not...?
Gob: I told you to walk away. I told you to give a fake name.
Michael: I did. Thanks very much. I'm Chareth Cutestory, a pirate lawyer. It was airtight.
Lucille: Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man.
(Everyone groans except for Barry)
Barry: They still look fabulous.
George Sr.: Hi ... This is not what it looks like ...
Lucille: It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.
George Sr.: Yep ... Yeah, that's it.
Maeby: Enjoy the $200.
George Michael: This is six $20s.
Maeby: That's right.
Michael: Thanks for coming out, buddy. I've been dying to get some time with you, I really have.
George Michael: That's ok. I know how much you care about me. Unfortunately, so does the federal government.
Michael: He's not a chicken. He just doesn't like confined spaces, that's all.
Gob: I thought it was open spaces.
Buster: No, it's both.
Buster: I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.
Lucille: Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.
Michael: How'd you know I was here?
Gob: I called the office. You know, that Kitty is starting to sound pretty damn sexy to me. Maybe I ought to ...
Michael: That was Lindsay.
White Power Bill: (hits man with pipe) I have worse plans for you if you keep trying to convert my team!
George Sr.: Ok, hold it, hold ... Hold it now ... Now, I'm doing no such thing; both of our religions have a lot to offer. There's the Jewish notion of heaven, and that it can be attained here on Earth. And there is your belief ... In the cleansing power of the pipe.
Lindsay: Dad hired me out of college.
Michael: You quit college.
Lindsay: Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?
Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?
Lindsay
