Michael: I'm driving a staircase, for God's sake, okay? It smells like gas, I get hop-ons ...
George Sr.: Well, of course, you're gonna get hop-ons.
Michael: And most importantly, Dad, my son does not like to be seen in it.
George Sr.: (laughing) But he likes being seen with that girl!

Barry: A company called Stanpor.
Gob: Stanpor?
Michael: As in the opposite of Sitwell, which is run by a certain hairless man who could be very upset with you right now.
Gob: What has he to be upset with me about? (one of his eyebrows drops down)
Michael: You are wearing his eyebrows?
Gob: It made me feel dressier.

Gob: So, get this. I took (Sitwell's) dress eyebrows.
Michael: He's not gonna be happy about that.
Gob: No. Especially when he goes to the opera with two mustaches on his forehead.

Buster: Mom's becoming a little controlling.
Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.
Michael: [to Lucille]You baited the balcony?
Lucille: Prove it.

Even if I have to take a chubby, I'm willing to suck it up!

Tobias

Yeah, mothers. It's like, f(bleep)in' die already!

Gob

I'm an idea man, Michael. That's how I came up with F(bleep) Mountain!

Gob

George Michael stumbled across a box of love letters he had written, but never sent, to his cousin Maeby. One of these, entitled "If You Weren't My Cousin," was particularly incriminating.

Narrator

Michael: (about Sitwell) He happens to be a very modest and generous man.
Lucille: Modest and generous? Then why is he always waving giant ten million dollar checks over his head every time some...
Michael: Go ahead, Mom, finish your thought. Every time some children's hospital needs funding?
Lucille: Nonetheless.

Lucille: Give me a vodka rocks.
Michael: Mom, it's breakfast.
Lucille: And a piece of toast.

Michael, I'm your big brother. I'll never be impressed with you.

Gob

Lucille: I've done everything I can. I even tried to convince them he's [Buster] gay, but no one would believe that a woman like me would have a gay son.
Michael: Well you certainly tried. You guys wore matching outfits until he was twelve.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 210 in total

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom
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