Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 2 Episode 16: "Meat the Veals"

Michael: You haven't met my family. You should meet my family. We're going to be having an anniversary party.
Pastor Veal: What a wonderful surprise! We would love to witness a celebration of their love.
Michael: That would be a wonderful surprise.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: So the devout, religious family... they're the bad guys?
 • Rating: Unrated

Franklin (Gob): I don't wanna kiss that old bitch!
George Sr.: That's my wife, you bastard! (chokes puppet)
Gob: Ow, Dad, that's my wrist ...
(George Sr. chokes Gob)
Franklin (Gob): Hey, man, that's his neck!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: Nice to meet you. (walks away)
Mrs. Veal: Your family is lovely!
Michael: Does it seem that way? Where's Buster?
 • Rating: Unrated

Franklin (Buster): I don't want no part of yo' tired ass country club, ya freak bitch!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: Somebody just wanted to say ... (holds up Franklin) how much they missed you.
Lucille: Oh, who let that black (bleep) in? (Gob knocks her unconcious)
Buster: Hey, brother!
Franklin (Gob): Who you callin' "brother," you hook-ass --
Buster: Mother ...!
(Buster blows the rape horn and Gob knocks him out)
Geroge Sr.: What the hell kind of puppet is that on Buster's hand?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Featherbottom: Jolly news, governor. Young Master's proposing.
Michael: George Michael? I thought I told him not to. He said he wouldn't.
Mrs. Featherbottom: Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of Veal!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: So what, you're gonna cover her eyes, take her out to the limo...?
George Sr.: No, we're going to knock her out with this ether, stuff her in this garment bag and carry her out to the car, if anyone see's you do the same. Oh, hi Tobias.
Mrs. Featherbottom: (singing) Whenever I get a wee bit scared I hum a little tune, humdidididi...doo.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Featherbottom: Ok, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh...right, I forgot; here in the states you call it 'a sausage' in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George Sr.: (listening in attic) She wants her man back.
Geroge Sr. as Franklin: Yo man, you're gonna get your sorry white ass thrown in jail.
George Sr.: I said that's enough!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: This is your wife? I didn't realize you could remarry.
Ann's father: What?
Michael: Is this Ann's mother?
Ann's mother: I'm Mrs. Veal.
Michael: Sorry, I just did not expect somebody so ... young.
Ann's mother: Next you're going to say how Ann and I could be sisters.
Michael: No! I'd never say that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Mom, this is Ann's mother.
Lucille: Are you sure this isn't her sister?
Ann's mother: Oh, what a lovely thing to say.
Michael: Oh, what an awful thing to say Mom, please.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Featherbottom: Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George Michael: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Hey, is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 15: "Sword of Destiny"

Tobias: I'm sorry. Ted?
Ted: Yes?
Tobias: Is it Ted? Did Ted make an appointment?
Ted: No, I just work down the hallway ...
Tobias: No? Well, then, Ted can get the hell out of this office! You get the hell out! (to Michael) And that's how you keep out unwanted visitors.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick want slow. Wait, that's Indian.
Salesman: Tea for dong!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: Buenos dias. My name is Dr. Tobias Funke, and I'll be filling in for Michael, who is not sick (laughs). In fact, just today I saw a sliver of his buttocks and they're as fresh and firm as a Georgia peach, so not to worry.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Stein: I'm certainly good enough to take out that appendix of yours.
Michael: Appendix?
Lucille: I don't buy it. It could be a hernia.
Tobias: Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gob: Michael, I've been looking for you.
Michael: Looks like you're looking for dragons... In the future.
Gob: I wouldn't mock the Sword of Destiny, Michael.
Michael: Careful with that Gob.
(Gob sticks the sword into his side)
Michael: Bleeding?
Gob: Nope.... Yeah, that's blood.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: ...But I can't. I have to teach George Michael how to drive.
Gob: Michael if I make this comeback I'll buy you one hundred George Michael's you can teach to drive.
Michael: You're losing blood aren't you?
Gob: Probably. My socks are wet.
Michael: I'm sorry.
Gob: You'll be sorry! Wait that doesn't work after his line.
 • Rating: Unrated

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