Tobias: I'm sorry. Ted?
Ted: Yes?
Tobias: Is it Ted? Did Ted make an appointment?
Ted: No, I just work down the hallway ...
Tobias: No? Well, then, Ted can get the hell out of this office! You get the hell out! (to Michael) And that's how you keep out unwanted visitors.

Dr. Stein: I'm certainly good enough to take out that appendix of yours.
Michael: Appendix?
Lucille: I don't buy it. It could be a hernia.
Tobias: Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers.

Tony Wonder: You like bread?
Buster: Yeah.
Tony Wonder: Have some.
Buster: Wow, it's warm.
Gob: (completely astounded) How did you do that?
Tony Wonder: Oh-oh-oh, magicians only.
(He whispers the "illusion" to Buster)
Buster: Wow, that sounds easy.

Michael: ...But I can't. I have to teach George Michael how to drive.
Gob: Michael if I make this comeback I'll buy you one hundred George Michael's you can teach to drive.
Michael: You're losing blood aren't you?
Gob: Probably. My socks are wet.
Michael: I'm sorry.
Gob: You'll be sorry! Wait that doesn't work after his line.

Buenos dias. My name is Dr. Tobias Funke, and I'll be filling in for Michael, who is not sick (laughs). In fact, just today I saw a sliver of his buttocks and they're as fresh and firm as a Georgia peach, so not to worry.

Tobias

Gob: Michael, I've been looking for you.
Michael: Looks like you're looking for dragons... In the future.
Gob: I wouldn't mock the Sword of Destiny, Michael.
Michael: Careful with that Gob.
(Gob sticks the sword into his side)
Michael: Bleeding?
Gob: Nope.... Yeah, that's blood.

Well, the operation went pretty smoothly. But once I got in there, the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh!

Dr. Stein

Gob: Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick want slow. Wait, that's Indian.
Salesman: Tea for dong!

Buster: Now, our magic trick.
Gob: Illusion.
Buster: Silent, slave! In this magic trick, I'm going to put a sword through my assistant's tummy. May I have the trick sword, please?!
Gob: It's a real sword, (sarcastically) master.

Displaying quotes 37 - 45 of 210 in total