Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 2 Episode 10: "Ready, Aim, Marry Me"

Lucille: She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the jokes on her because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.
Michael: I think that makes the joke on Gob.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: So what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here.
George Michael: What's kama sutra oil?
Michael: Maybe it's not for us.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: (about the basket) Why don't you take this? I don't have anyone to go with anyway.
Tobias: Can you imagine how jealous that would make her? "Where's Tobias?!" "Oh, he's just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth and they're dipping each other in..." Oh, you didn't get anybody chocolate ...
Michael: I didn't mean with me. I hate to see you struggle like this. In fact, why don't you let me ask her for you?
Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime.
Michael: Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Tobias: (gasps) Butterscotch! Want a lick?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: It all makes sense. Why else would Sally Sitwell be avoiding me?
Lindsay: Because she thinks you're a loser.
Gob: And why would Lucille 2 be so distant toward me?
Lindsay: Because she knows you're a loser.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: Buster, nice of you to take a break from that common whore you've been dating.
Buster: She is not a whore, mother, she happens to be the new secretary of the Bluth company. And yes, she may be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be terrifying.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: If you had tried and failed, I'd understand, but you didn't even try.
Lindsay: So I didn't even fail, and I don't see you giving me credit for that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George Sr.: You're pimping out your sister?
Michael: Well you were pimping out my mother!
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: I had no idea a ninety year-old man could cave in my chest cavity like that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: Well Gob doesn't do anything for the family...
Gob: Hey... I'm f(bleep)ing Lucille 2!
Lindsay: Ohh.. I could do something like that...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Narrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words to see what Michael was referring to.
Tobias: (on tape) Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias: (on tape) Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias: It's out of context.
Tobias: (on tape) I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.
Narrator: And he realizes there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias: Tobias, you blowhard! (Chuckles)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 9: "Burning Love"

Gob: It's called taking advantage. It's what gets you ahead in life.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Just find someone else to do your bidding.
Lucille: There is no one else to do my bidding!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lindsay: I'm going to see if I can get a wrench to strip my nuts. (everyone looks at her) ... I was trying to be sexy, it just got away from me.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Sr.: My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison.
Michael: Hope that was forced ...
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille 2: You're embarrassed to be with me!
Gob: No, I'm embarrassed to be seen with you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: I have the afternoon free.
Lucille: Really? Did 'nothing' cancel?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 8: "Queen for a Day"

Buster: Mom's becoming a little controlling.
Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.
Michael: [to Lucille]You baited the balcony?
Lucille: Prove it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tobias: Even if I have to take a chubby, I'm willing to suck it up!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: Yeah, mothers. It's like, f(bleep)in' die already!
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Arrested Development" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!