Barry: You don't want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
Gob: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow, you should be the lawyer.

(to George Michael) Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending some time with what's left of your uncle?

Lucille

Tobias: What are you doing up here?
George, Sr.: I'm having a f**king tea party, what does it look like I'm doing?
(He shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth)
George, Sr.: I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will f**king kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

Michael: You know, if that hand is still intact inside the seal, Buster's got a shot at a transplant.
Gob: At the very least, we can get Buster's Swatch back, right?

(referring to Tobias) If that man is straight, then I am sober.

Dave Attell

Maeby: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a "T" on it?
Michael: That's a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?

Michael: Ok, that would be disgusting if you'd actually slept with her, but I don't think you did.
Gob: I did and it was disgusting.
Narrator: They didn't, but it would have been.

Buster: Can I open a can of soup for you?
George Michael: Can it open a can?
Buster: Can what open a can? Oh, God.
George Michael: Oh, God.

Take me with you!

Sailor Boy

Carl Weathers: I'm gonna go get a new soda. Hey, you know that you can get a refill on any drink you want here, and it's free? (laughs)
Tobias: (laughs) It's a wonderful restaurant. Mmm!
Narrator: It sure is.

Buster: My Army training tells me that this is going to be a hot mission.
Michael: What? A hot mission?
Buster: Yes. I create a diversion, and you grab George Michael and go. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother."

If you play me, you got to play me like a man and not like some mincing little Polly or Nellie! I get those names confused. Apology. (to dolls) Apologies all around.

George, Sr.

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes

She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over. And then she'll take an egg and kind of...mmmm! She calls it a 'mayon-egg.' Are you okay?

George Michael

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom