What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!

Buster

Well excuse me for liking the way they shape my junk.

</i> Tobias

(referring to Ann) Plus, she's religious. That one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. Believe me, I dated a chick like that once in high school ... no, I didn't.

Gob

How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA?

Maeby

(Catching Buster and Lupe in bed)
Lucille: And yet you're too good to polish the candlesticks. You're fired!
Buster: You can't fire me. I'm your son. I'm firing you!
Lucille: I was firing Lupe.
Buster: Well, that makes more sense.

Gob: I figured out a way to make money while I'm working.
Michael: But that is what we call working.

(on abstinence) That first time after waiting and waiting, it's going to be so awesome! Because it's not just going to be my love and George Michael's, but God's love as well. God, it's going to be incredible!

Ann

(After Indian candidate's video)
Gob: (hiding in crowd) Go home, you terrorist!
Michael: How stupid do you have to be to say something like that ...?
Gob: (revealed) You're not wanted here!

Lindsay: Tobias moving out hasn't been easy.
Michael: For any of us.
Lindsay: You didn't even notice he'd gone, did you?
Michael: I did notice we'd stop Tivoing the Christopher Lowell show.

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