Arrested Development

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes (Page 8)

Season 2 Episode 6: "Afternoon Delight"

Lucille: (holding her rape horn in one hand and a fireplace poker in the other) But I have a surprise for whoever it is if he comes back. First I blow him, then I poke him.
Michael: Guy has no idea what he's in for.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Sr.: Don't get involved. Believe me, when I thought your first wife was driving us apart, I did not make a stink.
Michael: You complained all the time, and she was my only wife. And she died.
George Sr.: Yeah, well. See, things have a way of working themselves out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?
Michael: There are no others. You fired everyone.
 • Rating: Unrated

Buster: (holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Oscar: The question is, which way do I try to get it in her?
Michael: I don't need any details.
Oscar: Maybe, I'll put it in her brownie.
Michael: Hey!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: (about wearing his father's clothes) But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Gob's big sexual harrassment speech)
Gob: And please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of inter-office *BLEEP*ing, or *BLEEP*ing, or finger-*BLEEP*ing, or *BLEEP*ing or *BLEEP*ing, or even *BLEEP*, even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I'll take off my pants, I'll shave my *BLEEP*, and I'll personally *BLEEP*.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucille: Michael, I was almost attacked last night in my own home! I walk in and there's a colored man in my kitchen!
Michael: Colored? What color was he, exactly?
Lucille: Blue.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tobias: (underneath Lucille's car) Hey, it's Tobias...who wants to take me to the hospital?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: God, how they used to laugh with me.
Michael: At you.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Sr.: (about Lucille) Sounds tense. That means she's not getting any from my brother Oscar.
 • Rating: Unrated

Al: Need a hand with that?
Gob: No, Al, I want to spill booze all over my freaking $6,300 suit. Come on on!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lindsay: What happened to you?
Tobias: (with a bandage wrap on his head) What? Oh, oh! My ears. The doctor said I can't go to sleep for five hours, or I might die or something. (to George Michael) Oh! I got blown! So, I can't sleep!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 5: "Sad Sack"

Oscar: God willing, he'll fail boot camp.
Michael: Well, why wouldn't he? He already failed day camp.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: (about Lucille) Oscar, please. You can't go. You got to stay, ok? This is the nicest she's been since she found out that Rosa could breast-feed Buster.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chairman: They're balls?
Pilot #1: We're looking at balls. Let's turn it around.
Pilot #2: Copy on the balls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George Sr.: Hey, by the way, I broke this thing. What the hell is it, anyway?
Michael: That's a breast pump, dad.
George Sr.: Oh, well, I did not use it for that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: Can I have a moment alone with my client, please? (to Michael) Did you follow any of that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barry: Well, if he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.
Michael: It's not going to happen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Why'd you have to come back here in the first place?
George Sr.: Oh, no reason. Your mother happens to be just shtupping my brother, that's all.
 • Rating: Unrated

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