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Car Salesman: Yeah, the Bronco's been discontinued. We're trying to shed that whole fugitive-on-the-run thing. This is the Escape.
George Sr.: What a fun name. May I test drive?

(George Sr. & Lucille are in different cars. They almost crash).
George Sr.: Up yours, granny!
Lucille: You couldn't handle it!

Lucille: What the hell was I supposed to do? Michael Moore confronted me in front of the whole country!
Michael: First of all, it wasn't Michael Moore, it was a Michael Moore look-alike. And it wasn't in front of the whole country, it was for a bit on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Lucille: I don't know who that is, and I don't care to find out.

Tobias: Oh, a pregnancy test. There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay? No, we had to create our little Frankenstein monster out of science, and money, and just a dash of... (Notices Maeby has entered) Maeby... would... how... how long have you been standing there?
Maeby: I just walked in.
Tobias: Just walked in! (chuckles) Seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb!

Michael: (about Sally) I'm dating her, but I just want to make sure that you're comfortable with that.
George Michael: Well, of course! We can double-date. You and Sally, and me and Ann.
Michael: Who?
George Michael: Wh... Ann?
Michael: Ah, yes. Of course I know Ann. I didn't mean "who", I meant, uh, "her".

Maeby: You know, George Michael, you worry too much. It's Sunday. You're allowed to have a couple of hours off. You don't see me nervous about being on my third Virgin Mary.
George Michael: Why would you be nervous? There's no alcohol in a Virgin Mary.
Maeby: There isn't? This is unbelievable. (to the waiter) Can I get a Virgin Pina Colada when you get a chance? Now we'll get things started.

Michael: (to Maggie) You know, there's zero trust here. Good-bye, it's been fun. Not.
Narrator: Michael had hoped something a little more dramatic would have come out of his mouth. Or at least more current.

Ann: (comforting Lucille) You know, when times are tough, you can always turn to the power of prayer.
Maeby: Here we go.
Lucille: Show me.
Narrator: This was a big get for god.

(In response to Lucille's refusal to believe Buster was going to war)
Tobias: You know, Mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I think you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.
Tobias: Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.

Lindsay: That's the first time we're in the shower since our honeymoon.
Tobias: And this time no tears!

Michael: We need to speak to you about getting a divorce for Gob.
Barry: Well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I?
(Smiles and holds up hand for high five)
Michael: Actually, she died.
Barry: You're kidding me. I've been taking credit for that for years!

As for Maggie, I didn't even know that she was pregnant when I first saw her. All I could see was her giant chest. Box. She had this ... some people call it a chest, I call it a box. She was holding this giant box.

Michael
Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 210 in total

Arrested Development Season 2 Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom