You’re so not a “Jen.” I think abbreviating names is in the intimidation nation’s bylaws.

Tamara

Sadie: Don’t use my real name!
Tamara: Why not? It sounds like a stripper name.

You just thought you’d way overstep your nonexistent boundaries and interfere with my life for the millionth time?

Jenna

Uh, Google Earth to Jenna, BJ’s are like flowers for dudes. You ruined them too.

Tamara

Tamara: Whoa, back to the future much?
Jake: Yeah, well, I realized that the no effort had become to much effort.
Tamara: Okay, did Jake hire a swag coach?

Okay, I didn’t know we were in the Army because Major Shenanigans just reported for duty. Who robbed your cradle Risotti?

Tamara

Sorry Val, can’t join you in your suicide spinster pact just yet.

Sadie

I get it, I’m an 11 in a city full of 7’s.

Val

They’re also conniving whores who come with a side of herpes. Enjoy you itchy, burning peen.

Sadie

Seniors, this is our last bonfire so enjoy it even though 50 percent of our class doesn't deserve to live.

Tamara

Happy? Happy? How am I supposed to have a Happy New Year when you've abandoned me like a baby in a dumpster outside of prom?

Tamara

Tamara: Who's auditioning for Teen Mom 3?
Jenna: I have no idea.
Tamara: Is it you? Luke sperminated and terminated you? I will just defer college and we'll raise this baby together in a non-sexual life partnership. No offense, you're not really my type. Now, what are we thinking for the nursery?

Awkward Quotes

Hey! Stop! Don't touch me there that sir is my no no square.

Lissa

Eva: Sadie, I really admire how comfortable you are with your body. You're so brave.
Sadie: I'm not brave. I have amazing tits unlike you and your sad floppers.