Jenna: He said I was a good person.
Lacey: That son of a bitch.

I really want to believe you, I really do, it's just that you're a f***ing horrible person, Amber.


Matty, can you get rid of the barnacle for a second so we can talk skiing.


Jenna: This girl's a freak.
Sadie: Wow, what an astute observation.

Kevin: Are you still afraid of the lift?
Lacey: Are you still afraid of me ripping your balls off? Because you should be.

Bovine Feces that's bulls**t in SAT.


Here's the deal Eva, things aren't great between Matty and I right now, but I know Matty McKibben and he would never f**k you in my bed. So I don't know what kind of game this is you're playing, but count me out. But, hey, nice try.


The only thing worse than getting dumped is a eat, pray, suck road trip with you two morons. Good luck with Crossroads 2!


Shane: Do you just blurt out every offensive thing you think?
Tamara: No, it's actually carefully curated.

That bitch ditched? I am going to f***ing kill her.


I am so sorry sweetie. I'm just going to be a bad parent, and pretend I didn't see any of this.


Tamara: O M G, did you hear that?
Jake: Hear what?
Tamara: That's the sound of me not giving a flying f**k!

Awkward Quotes

Without the bad days we can never appreciate the good ones, and, there are so many good days coming your way. Just do me a favor, forgive yourself like you forgave me.


Put a flavored condom on your head because your mind as about to be blown. Jenna. you are legit popular.