Popular Better Off Ted Quotes
Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things
Never give up. That's what I always tell my daughter. She tells me to stop telling her, but I tell her I can't, because that would be giving up
Linda: This is a great company, isn't it? Freezing their employees.
Ted: Employee. They're only freezing one. For now
Rose: I like Phil.
Ted: Maybe you'll like him even more when he's frozen.
Rose: I like him the temperature he is. Phil came to my birthday. It's wrong to freeze someone who came to your daughter's birthday
Ted: Did you do your math homework?
Rose: Yes.
Ted: Six times eight?
Rose: Yes, that was one of them
Veronica: So this thing with Phil, making that stupid face and yelling, they think it's distracting.
Ted: I guess in hindsight they shouldn't have vitrified his brains.
Veronica: Look, I'm not going to play the blame game with you
Ted: Listen, Veronica, about firing Phil, I don't think we should rush into anything.
Veronica: You're right. Wait until the end of business Friday. It'll be easier for Payroll
Veronica: Did I surprise you? I didn't mean to surprise you. I'm just a friendly person.
Linda: I didn't think you know my name.
Veronica: Of course I know your name. I know a lot about you. Linda... Katherine... Zword... ning--ling.
Linda: Zwordling
Veronica: Fine. You know your own name better than I do. Yah!
Veridian Dynamics. We're the future of food, developing the next generation of food and food-like products. Tomatoes... the size of this baby, lemon-flavored fish, chicken that lay 16 eggs a day, which is a lot for a chicken, organic vegetables chock-full of antidepressants. At Veridian Dynamics, we can even make radishes so spicy that people can't eat them, but we're not, because people can't eat them. Veridian Dynamics. Food. Yum
Narrator
Veronica: Ted.
Ted: Veronica.
Veronica: How are you?
Ted: I'm fine. Why?
Veronica: I was just seeing what small talk might look like.
Ted: Oh, well, usually, you...
Veronica: Please stop. I feel like I just pissed away my day
Veronica: We have a problem. The Food Division just told me that the "Extra Fun Mac and Cheese" I'm supposed to be presenting to the shareholders causes blindness if eaten more than twice a week. Plus, no matter how long it's cooked, it never gets hot.
Ted: Maybe it's not Mac and Cheese.
Veronica: Oh, no, it has to be. They've already designed the box
Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin.
Ted: Then so do I. Because?
Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies.
Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween.
Veronica: Pie.
Ted: Halloween and pie
