Better Off Ted Season 1 Episode 7: "Get Happy" Quotes
Veronica: Another time, another place. Two other people, it could have been magniflorious.
Phil: You mean that?
Veronica: I do. Particularly the part about two other people
Veronica: And the next time some survey asks how happy you are, you check "very," or I'll give you something to be happy about.
Ted: I'm not sure that makes any...
Veronica: The hair is up. That's all they hear
Phil: My wife says I wouldn't know comedy if it ripped my face off.
Veronica: Good for you for having a wife
Lem: I'm sorry, but when I hear an undeserved compliment it makes my ears want to throw up.
Phil: Oh, your ears are always throwing up about something
Veronica and her hair were working hard on the company's campaign to improve morale. They both put on a good front, but one of them was feeling frustrated and the other was feeling dry and flaky
Ted
Linda: I just made three new friends. Maybe I was wrong about the cubicle themes. For the first time since I've been here, I actually feel like I'm part of something.
Ted: Glad to hear it. I have to go to a strip club tomorrow with a bunch of old men.
Linda: Wow. What theme did the company give you?
Manny: Ted, you're so put together. It's like you stepped out of a magazine. Didn't you ever get a mustard stain on your shirt, or a hooker's vomit on your pants?
Ted: Well, I did do one of those things when I was twelve at a baseball game. I won't tell you which one it is, but it was the game of my life
Look, the company does all sorts of crazy things. That doesn't mean we have to be crazy, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go seduce a 55-year-old man
Ted
Veridian Dynamics. Teamwork--it's a beautiful thing. In business, it means working together for a common goal. X-rays show that when people work together, they're happier and less likely to do something weird. Veridian Dynamics. Teamwork. It keeps our employees gruntled
Commercial
Hi, Balding Guy. I love what you've done with the hair you have left
Veronica
Clark: Mr. Crisp, you had a near-unanimous rating of "excellent." In fact, there were even several write-ins of "adorable."
Veronica: Oh, brother, look out Jesus
Phil: Do you think I look like a possum in this shirt?
Lem: Not in that shirt. Why?
