Better Off Ted Quotes
Ted: Phil, why on earth would you use your voice for the translator device?
Phil: It was the fastest way to fix it, since we already had my voice in the computer from that failed talking frying pan project.
Lem: Stupid thing wouldn't stop screaming when you put it on the burner.
Phil: Plus, it was very critical. "You really need that much butter?" Screw you, frying pan.
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Veronica: I saw what was going on in there between you and Fraulein Cheekbones. When you show her around town, keep your Hansels off her Gretels.
Ted: I was just being friendly.
Veronica: I'm serous, Ted. This deal is too important and sex can screw things up. Why do you think the Three Stooges went through so many Curlys?
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Oh, God, we have unhappy Germans. Nothing good has ever come from that.Veronica
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Veronica is late for our big meeting with the Germans, who, of course, are right on time. What? It's a positive stereotype.
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Because I'm good at everything I do. I'm not bragging, because bragging is the one thing I'm not good at. Although, if I wanted to be, I'd be excellent at that, too. As I just proved.Veronica
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Veronica: Do you live here? Do all the cubicle workers have little hobbit holes like this?
Linda: No, some of us nest in trees, others have underground warrens.
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We believe the multi-language translator will create a furor in Germany, a furor that will sweep across Europe, crushing... no.Veronica
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Lem: Oh, my God. Maybe we're evil scientists.
Phil: (laughing manically) I'm sorry. I laugh like that when faced with an unpleasant truth. That's why I got thrown out of that Al Gore movie.
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Lem: We don't create evil things.
Ted: Some might see this long-range people-skinning laser as evil-ish.
Phil: Well, that was only designed so you could peel an orange in your kitchen while sitting comfortably in your living room.
Ted: Well, now it's used to peel enemy soldiers overseas while you sit comfortably in the Pentagon.
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