Jonathan: Now you want a spanking?
Nina: Don't break character.

Oh my God. His story is about me.

Jonathan

Dermatologist: I've never used a PI before.
Jonathan: That's okay, most of my clients are virgins.

The best positive thinking in life is thinking of others.

George

I'll tell you who let the dogs out.

Ray

Tell George I'm rooting for him and that I'm praying for his cock.

Ray

I'm so glad that possibly my last erection is with you.

George

Ray: (to Jonathan) : You didn't actually kiss her and she is the most beautiful girl in the world.

You really like little Ray, don't you.

Jonathan

(to George) Strip down and I'll be back to shave your pubic zone.

Nurse

We were just projecting our love for you onto each other.

Jonathan

We only leaned.

Jonathan

Bored to Death Quotes

(to Jonathan) I hope your heart is broken many times because it means you would have loved many times.

Dimitri

Men face reality. Women don't. That why men need to drink.

George