Ransom for a dog?

Jonathan

Ray's elf girlfriend : You are the sexiest guy I ever met.
Ray: I know.

You are somebody you

Leah

I don't have to go to rehab. I have cancer.

George

Lewis: My ankle will never be the same because of you.
Jonathan: What? I just saved your life.

Couple shots of nice whiskey for me and the lady.

Ray

I have to take a drug test?

George

(to Jonathan) Let's go have a drink and get drunk. Sixteen gin and tonics.

Ray

(to Leah) I'm sorry about the other night. You know with you're lover with the orange pubes.

Ray

Jonathan: Why didn't you write a second novel?
Jonathan's client: Because I was afraid to.

You know when you're chair bound, hemorrhoids are very cruel.

Jonathan's client

Okay we both need to do better with our positive thinking.

George

Bored to Death Quotes

(to Jonathan) I hope your heart is broken many times because it means you would have loved many times.

Dimitri

Men face reality. Women don't. That why men need to drink.

George