Bored to Death

Bored to Death Quotes (Page 3)

Season 2 Episode 3: "The Gowanas Canal Has Gonorrhea!"

Ray: George, I don't like talking on the phone that much, but um you can call me all the time. I won't pick up, but you can leave me a message.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

George: I don't negotiate with kidnapers or terrorists.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

George: We gotta go. We'll be seven minutes early.
Ray: That's hardly a surprise.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jonathan: What's your secret?
Kidnapper: Never go to bed angry. Pass this on to you.
Jonathan: Come on that's your secret? Never go to bed angry?!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Jonathan is this a joke? I've already vaporized two bags of pot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kidnapper: Do you have any rich friends?
Jonathan: Yes, I have one, but I really don't think I should involve my friends.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I've never had anything removed before. I mean like my appendix, tonsils, wisdom teeth. I hold onto everything. I'm like a hoarder I guess, I'm like completely intact.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 2: "Make It Quick, Fitzgerald!"

Richard: Want to get a drink?
George: Sure.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I got that vaporizer you told me about .
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: Oh my God! What is that?
Ray: I've got long foreskin. Not everybody is Jewish ya know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jonathan: Can you please look at my penis and tell me I'm an adult male.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: My brain is attacking itself!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: I think I may have the smallest penis in the world.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: George, why are you having an affair with your ex-wife?
George: Because I've never fallen out of loved with her.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jonathan: The meat packing district really has become Los Angeles.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ray: How does that feel?
Jonathan: It feels comforting actually.
Ray: Does George have a nice ass?
Jonathan: It was very white.
Ray: I figured.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: (to Stella) I thought you were happy with me and I found your G-spot and everything.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: George is an idiot. But, his one decent trait is that he surrounded himself with decent people.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: (to Jonathan) So how long have you been a private d**k on the side?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 1: "Escape From the Dungeon!"

Ray: Are you trying to break up with me?
Suzanne: Yes.
Ray: Why?
Suzanne: I'm sorry Ray, I'm just not happy.
 • Rating: Unrated

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