Savant: It was like taking candy from a baby.
Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!

Holt: Do you know I love milk?
Gina: Uh, no.
Holt: Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19 years. Nineteen MILKLESS years I've gone, but for some reason I can't...quit...cwazy cupcakes

I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

GIna

Do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?

Gina

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

Jake

Jake: Sargeant Jeffards search the internet for, “undiscovered muscle.”
Terry: I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder that I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.

I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that’s right, ‘cause it threatens death!

Jake

Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Rosa

What I’m obsessed with is how you’re bungling this investigation. They should write a song about it called “Welcome to the Bungle.”

Peralta

Hey there criminal! It’s me, Johnny Law.

Jake

Actually, someone reported that they couldn’t find your head. But we found it; it was up your butt. You’re a fireman, you should know how to treat that burn.

Jake

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta