Savant: It was like taking candy from a baby.
Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!

Do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?


Boon: Let New York’s bravest handle it.
Jake: You know they only call you that because “New York’s Best at Spraying Stuff with Water” was too wordy.

Holt: Do you know I love milk?
Gina: Uh, no.
Holt: Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19 years. Nineteen MILKLESS years I've gone, but for some reason I can't...quit...cwazy cupcakes

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."


Jake: Sargeant Jeffards search the internet for, “undiscovered muscle.”
Terry: I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder that I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.

I feel like I'm the Paris of people.


I think I am...getting a text message. Bloop! There it is.


When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.


Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.


I am playing a character - a no-nonsense detective whose only goal is to set this course record. His name is Vic Kovack, he's an ex-Navy Seal who was double crossed and left for dead...I don't have time to go into his backstory!


Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.