Savant: It was like taking candy from a baby.
Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

Jake

Boon: Let New York’s bravest handle it.
Jake: You know they only call you that because “New York’s Best at Spraying Stuff with Water” was too wordy.

I am playing a character - a no-nonsense detective whose only goal is to set this course record. His name is Vic Kovack, he's an ex-Navy Seal who was double crossed and left for dead...I don't have time to go into his backstory!

Jake

When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

Jake

Jake: Sargeant Jeffards search the internet for, “undiscovered muscle.”
Terry: I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder that I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.

Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

GIna

Do you know how many basic bitches would kill to have the same personality as me?

Gina

Holt: Do you know I love milk?
Gina: Uh, no.
Holt: Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19 years. Nineteen MILKLESS years I've gone, but for some reason I can't...quit...cwazy cupcakes

Three -- think of something super cool to say when we arrest him. My leading contender? "You're going to jail for oolong time.

Jake

Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.

Gina

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Holt: Do you see me as a father figure?
Jake: No! If anything I see you as a "bother" figure cause you're always bothering me.

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.