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Season-2-premiere-brooklyn-nine-nine

Savant: It was like taking candy from a baby.
Terry: Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don’t give candy to a baby! They can’t brush their teeth!

Holt: Do you know I love milk?
Gina: Uh, no.
Holt: Well I do, but it hurts my stomach, so I haven't had milk, a beverage I love, for 19 years. Nineteen MILKLESS years I've gone, but for some reason I can't...quit...cwazy cupcakes

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

Jake

Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Rosa

I mean, why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh, that’s right, ‘cause it threatens death!

Jake

Jake: Sargeant Jeffards search the internet for, “undiscovered muscle.”
Terry: I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder that I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.

Yeah, but that was before I knew I could get up on this high horse. Love the view up here. Clip clop!

Gina

Boon: Let New York’s bravest handle it.
Jake: You know they only call you that because “New York’s Best at Spraying Stuff with Water” was too wordy.

What I’m obsessed with is how you’re bungling this investigation. They should write a song about it called “Welcome to the Bungle.”

Peralta

Hey there criminal! It’s me, Johnny Law.

Jake

Actually, someone reported that they couldn’t find your head. But we found it; it was up your butt. You’re a fireman, you should know how to treat that burn.

Jake

Space is scary! You saw what it did to Sandy Bullock!

Doug Judy
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 118 in total

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta
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