Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBCFavorite Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes
I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.
Terry
Jake: I've never seen Capt. Holt that upset before. He's like a sad block of granite.
Boyle: How do you cheer up granite?
Jake, he is a sea-witch in disguise, do not sing into his shell!
Gina
I'm gonna rip your damn head off Grandma!
Rosa
Boyle: (sneaking up behind Capt. Holt and covering his eyes) Guess who?!
Capt. Holt: (drawing his weapon) NYPD! Hands up!
(Boyles screams)
Rosa: You're back so soon. Did you catch your guy?
Capt. Holt: No. He was dead, so I'll never catch him. Oh, Amy bought us tainted meat and now I have diarrhea.
Charles: We can fill his locker with shaving cream and loose hair.
Rosa: I like it. I cannot believe that I'm considering a non-violent option
Hoytsman: Okay, it was cocaine! Turns out I was accidentally doing some cocaine.
Jake: Not on accident. You put it in your nose on purpose.
Hoytsman: I don't even think I have a nose Peralta! I certainly cannot feel it. The defense rests!
The stamps were on me. I was curious about how old glue tasted. Answer, like a horse lollipop.
Boyle
Captain Holt: But I am still planning to get some retribution. I got her a parting gift.
Rosa: Tickets to "Wicked?"
Captain Holt: In Boston. She's moving to a second class city and I wanted to rub her nose in it. Enjoy the understudies Madeline. Have fun watching some chubby Chenowith knockoff warble her way through "Popular."
Imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone...
Boyle
It's awful...it sounds like Joy Behar falling down some stairs!
Gina
