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Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

Jake

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

Jake

I’ve got some stories that will make Training Day look like Super Troopers.

Peralta

Santiago: Pretty hungover?
Peralta: Shhhhh...turn off your mouth siren...

Santiago: You go through doors normally, and everyone calls you pineapples.
Peralta: My grandma calls me pineapples, and I regret telling you that.

All Fire Marshals are doofuses, but Boone is King Doofus of Doofus Island.

Jake

Holt: Why do you idolize that man and the time he wrote about?
Peralta: Because the 70s were amazing! Everyone had big juicy mustaches and all the clothes were orange...and flammable.

Gina: But seriously, what’s your favourite Jay-Z song?
Interviewee: I dunno! Big Pimpin’? It’s Big Pimpin’!
Gina: Awww. Wrong answer, friend.

Diaz: When this is over, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

Holt: You look like a corpse we just pulled out of the river.
Peralta: Wrong – I look like a cool rock star who OD’d in his own pool.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 118 in total

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

Jake
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