Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sundays 9:30 PM on FOX
Brooklyn nine nine
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta

Santiago: You go through doors normally, and everyone calls you pineapples.
Peralta: My grandma calls me pineapples, and I regret telling you that.

Brogan: I once saw Kaminski choke a hippie to death with his own ponytail.
Peralta: Awesome!
Santiago: Illegal.

Holt: Why do you idolize that man and the time he wrote about?
Peralta: Because the 70s were amazing! Everyone had big juicy mustaches and all the clothes were orange...and flammable.

I’ve got some stories that will make Training Day look like Super Troopers.

Peralta

Santiago: Pretty hungover?
Peralta: Shhhhh...turn off your mouth siren...

Holt: You look like a corpse we just pulled out of the river.
Peralta: Wrong – I look like a cool rock star who OD’d in his own pool.

Diaz: When this is over, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

All Fire Marshals are doofuses, but Boone is King Doofus of Doofus Island.

Jake

Gina: But seriously, what’s your favourite Jay-Z song?
Interviewee: I dunno! Big Pimpin’? It’s Big Pimpin’!
Gina: Awww. Wrong answer, friend.

Jake: Sargeant Jeffards search the internet for, “undiscovered muscle.”
Terry: I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder that I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.

Don’t worry; I know what I’m doing. I saw the first 15 minutes of The Hurt Locker.

Peralta
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 138 in total
× Close Ad