Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sundays 8:30 PM on FOX
Brooklyn nine nine
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Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta

Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

Santiago: You go through doors normally, and everyone calls you pineapples.
Peralta: My grandma calls me pineapples, and I regret telling you that.

I’ve got some stories that will make Training Day look like Super Troopers.

Peralta

Santiago: Pretty hungover?
Peralta: Shhhhh...turn off your mouth siren...

Holt: Why do you idolize that man and the time he wrote about?
Peralta: Because the 70s were amazing! Everyone had big juicy mustaches and all the clothes were orange...and flammable.

Diaz: When this is over, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

All Fire Marshals are doofuses, but Boone is King Doofus of Doofus Island.

Jake

Gina: But seriously, what’s your favourite Jay-Z song?
Interviewee: I dunno! Big Pimpin’? It’s Big Pimpin’!
Gina: Awww. Wrong answer, friend.

Holt: You look like a corpse we just pulled out of the river.
Peralta: Wrong – I look like a cool rock star who OD’d in his own pool.

Brogan: I once saw Kaminski choke a hippie to death with his own ponytail.
Peralta: Awesome!
Santiago: Illegal.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 179 in total

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta