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Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.


Santiago: You go through doors normally, and everyone calls you pineapples.
Peralta: My grandma calls me pineapples, and I regret telling you that.

Holt: Why do you idolize that man and the time he wrote about?
Peralta: Because the 70s were amazing! Everyone had big juicy mustaches and all the clothes were orange...and flammable.

I’ve got some stories that will make Training Day look like Super Troopers.


Santiago: Pretty hungover?
Peralta: Shhhhh...turn off your mouth siren...

Holt: You look like a corpse we just pulled out of the river.
Peralta: Wrong – I look like a cool rock star who OD’d in his own pool.

Brogan: I once saw Kaminski choke a hippie to death with his own ponytail.
Peralta: Awesome!
Santiago: Illegal.

Diaz: When this is over, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to break those little fingers.
Judge: Ms Diaz, please stop threatening the stenographer!

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