Sundays 9:30 PM on FOX
Brooklyn-nine-nine

Checking out my new bed. Great - feels like scoliosis and smells like 10 million butts.

Jake

Holt: Santiago...
Amy: Oh no...Santiago in B-flat...you're disappointed.

Jake, he is a sea-witch in disguise, do not sing into his shell!

Gina

Charles: We can fill his locker with shaving cream and loose hair.
Rosa: I like it. I cannot believe that I'm considering a non-violent option

It's awful...it sounds like Joy Behar falling down some stairs!

Gina

Gina: Jake, you have 6 massage chairs.
Jake: Well they don't make a massage couch!

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

Next time I catch him shaving I'm gonna punch him so hard in the mouth that he bites his own heart.

Rosa

I feel like a proud mama hen whose baby chicks have learned to fly!

Jeffords

Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

Holt: Do you see me as a father figure?
Jake: No! If anything I see you as a "bother" figure cause you're always bothering me.

Displaying all 11 quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 1 Episode 18 Quotes

Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

Holt: Do you see me as a father figure?
Jake: No! If anything I see you as a "bother" figure cause you're always bothering me.

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