Season 3, Episode 21: "S3X"
Kitty: You got an affidavit signed by your cardiologist giving you permission to have sex?Robert: (laughing)It's good, right! It's funny.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Scotty: We are such prudes.
Kevin: You're not kidding. One possible three-way and we practically have a nervous breakdown.
Scotty: I guess we're more comfortable nesting. We may as well be lesbians.
Kevin: Even lesbians have three-ways.
Scotty: Yeah, but their heart's never in it.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Sarah: Ojai Foods has turned into Ojai dudes.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 3, Episode 20: "Missing"
Kitty: I thought you were going to take it easy.Robert: Oh that? Relax. That's ...
Kitty: Do you know what happens when you tell somebody to relax? It actually has the opposite effect. It's scientifically proven.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Justin: What do you want? Seriously, what do you want? I mean, you move into our house. You're living off our mom ...
Ryan: I'm sorry, I forgot. That's your job.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Sarah: I wouldn't leave if I didn't think you guys could do it.
Kyle: Me and him? Are you kidding me? Before you, we were living like in a low-rent sty. Drinking beer in the shower.
Ethan: We got a lot of good ideas that way.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Maggie: I'm not a psychiatrist but your doodling does not look like the work of a woman that's just fulfilled her dream.
Nora: Yikes. It does look a bit disturbed.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kevin: Just say, 'Mom, Tommy didn't come back from Mexico'.
Justin: Why me?
Kevin: Because I always have to break the bad news. I'm like the family grim reaper.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robert: Listen, I'm sorry about today. You told me this terrible thing about Tommy and I was just ... a jerk. And I can see from your expression that you agree with my assessment.
Kitty: Pretty much.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kitty: Why is there so much press here?
Scotty: Something tells me they're not here to rave about my canapes.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 111
