Favorite Californication Quotes
Becca: Sometimes I think I'd be happy to stay a virgin forever. Seems like once you get laid -
Chelsea: Your life basically turns to shit?
That's unfair! To say nothing if bad for my prostate - skypus interruptus!
Hank
I am saying that if you can do anything else with your life right now, anything at all, I think maybe you should do that the world doesn't need any more lame vampire fiction, you know what I'm saying? You with me amigo?
Hank
Charlie: I missed yo black ass!
Hank: Later Masturbator.
They fucking love you to pieces you dumb shit, we all do. You just have trouble loving yourself.
Marcy
Let's do the one where Charlie is still your husband, but he's upstairs in a wheelchair.
Stu
I'll always be buzzing around like a gnat, like a well-hung gnat, with a dream.
Hank
Hank: Wait a second...you guys are stoned!
Becca: Dad, please!
Hank: Tell me where you got the weed, I will kill the motherf***er, tell me!
Becca: In your typewriter.
I don't know how we got here, but this is where we are.
Karen
Once you were my future, then you were my misery, now you're almost my past.
Karen
Dead monkeys and autoerotic asphyxiation? That's my cue.
Stu
Marci: You remind me of Charlie physically. You like his fucking doppelganger Stu you're all bald and pear shaped and shit, it's really kind of creeping me out.
Stu: Marci that all may be true but I'm also rich as fuck and hung like a moose.
