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Californication

Hank: Just be careful. young writers on the rise have been known to make certain mistakes.
Becca: Such as?
Hank: Such as sticking their dicks in places kind words and flattery come from.

It helps to have daughters in low places.

Hank

Tyler: He slapped you in the face with his dick?
Charlie: Shh! Yes multiple times, I think he left a trail of dog water.

You are going to enchant an entire generation of teenage boys with those pound puppies.

Hank

You've got to let the cash be your laxative Hank.

Stu

Oh I'm sorry. Turns out I'm quite the Fruit Ninja.

Hank

That's what happens in a relationship, you stop caring. The next thing you know the sex is sporadic, the blow job's bi-annual and ass play is out of the question.

Hank
Displaying all 7 quotes

Californication Season 5 Episode 9 Quotes

Oh I'm sorry. Turns out I'm quite the Fruit Ninja.

Hank

That's what happens in a relationship, you stop caring. The next thing you know the sex is sporadic, the blow job's bi-annual and ass play is out of the question.

Hank
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