Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

To our beautiful family, our black President, and my magnificent dong.

Hank

Entertainment for the poor, that's what my mother always called children.

Hank

You look like America's next top smurf.

Hank

Rick Springfield: I made a girl come seven times once.
Marcy: Over the course of an entire relationship?

What are you doing moping in the fridge, 80's pop legend Rick Springfield is stealing your girl - not Jesse's girl - Runkle's girl.

Hank

Sue: To you the glass is always half empty!
Charlie: Right now my wife is half full or Rick Springfield.

Becca: Do you know what it's like to have no one and nothing, how totally awful that feels?
Hank: Yes, I think I do. Once upon a time I felt like that, but now I have you.
Becca: Yet somehow I still have nothing.

Karen: I like you like this.
Hank: What, all defeated and shit?
Karen: Yes!

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