Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

That's unfair! To say nothing if bad for my prostate - skypus interruptus!

Hank

No more grinding up on middle-aged hard-ons for me, except for yours of course.

Jackie

Rick Springfield: Nothing like the sound of a stripper's head on a hard-wood floor.
Hank: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Rick: What, oh you don't rough 'em up? Well excuse me George Bailey...

Felicia: That was some very intense and powerful love-making.
Hank: Not a big fan of that term: love-making - making love. I prefer boning, stuffing, stupping, banging, porking, boffing - anything, take your pick, just not love-making.

You obviously have this thing with women, some very strong connection, that no matter what you do, no matter how big of an ass you are, they seem to respond - you're a goddamn girl whisperer!

Stacey

Do you really think a woman wants to go down on a man who just walked in off the tennis courts? Or just came in from a ride? Huh? You think I want to peel off those sweaty bike shorts and go to town? Disgusting!

Felicia

I'm not mad at you. You wouldn't get mad at a big dumb dog for shitting on the rug, would you?

Becca
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