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Californication

Ah ambrosia! I love a woman on her period.

Bates

There's no keeping a secret in this town.

Charlie

That's just me, an ungrateful heathen, highway to Hell and whatnot.

Hank

Don't come back here without a dozen roses and your dick in a box.

Hank

One day Hank, you're not going to be pining and I'm not going to be working and sparks are gonna fly.

Trixie

No crying at the Palm Runkle

Stu

I can make fun of Runkle but you can't.

Hank

All my life I thought that sort of life was lame, but now I realize the joke was on me.

Hank

Don't say mother fu-ker like that it makes me miss you.

Charlie

Hank: Just be careful. young writers on the rise have been known to make certain mistakes.
Becca: Such as?
Hank: Such as sticking their dicks in places kind words and flattery come from.

It helps to have daughters in low places.

Hank

Tyler: He slapped you in the face with his dick?
Charlie: Shh! Yes multiple times, I think he left a trail of dog water.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 319 in total

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Californication Quotes

Atticus: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can't have her. How do you even get up in the morning?
Hank: Well the booze is always helpful and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I'm with her, even when I'm not.

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.

Lou
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