Californication

Californication Season 3 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 3 Episode 6: "Glass Houses"

Sue: To you the glass is always half empty!
Charlie: Right now my wife is half full or Rick Springfield.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Becca: Do you know what it's like to have no one and nothing, how totally awful that feels?
Hank: Yes, I think I do. Once upon a time I felt like that, but now I have you.
Becca: Yet somehow I still have nothing.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Karen: I like you like this.
Hank: What, all defeated and s**t?
Karen: Yes!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 5: "Slow Happy Boys"

Hank: I don't get it Becs, what could possibly be so awful about visiting the woman who pushed you through her magnificent vagina - in New York, in the fall no less, you're going to be stepping off the plane into a Woody Allen film - and not, not recent Woody Allen, old Woody Allen, Annie Hall, Manhattan Woody Allen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: Just warning you! Something post-pubescent and wicked your way comes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: Where'd that plane come from, 1987? You look exactly the same! And that smell! What is that booze, cigarettes and Drakkar Noir - it takes me right back!
 • Rating: Unrated

Daisy: Let me tell you, this is some really pernicious s**t! My Vagina looks like downtown Baghdad right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: That, out there, is a f**king mirage, that doesn't exist behind me. You got everything you'll ever want or need back home.
Zlos: What do you know about back home? You got out years ago. It's easy for you to spout some working class, hero, Springsteen bulls**t about the sanctity of small towns when you're driving a Porsche through the promised land!
 • Rating: Unrated

Zlos: I f**king clocked her - him - whatever.
Hank: You can't do that, that's a human being, you can't just be throwing punches at people.
Zlos:What the f**k is wrong with you Moody? Have you been in LA so long that a chick with a d**k means nothing to you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Becca: Merry f**king Christmas. Can we go home already?
Hank & Karen: Shut up!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 4: "Zoso"

Hank: It's not your fault. I'm like fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.
 • Rating: 3.6 / 5.0

Hank: So you're suggesting I should dump this whole writer thing and reinvent myself as a Hollywood manwhore?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: Hideous creatures these teenage girls.
Felicia: Monstrous, couldn't agree with you more.
Hank: Is it too late to drown them in the tub?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jackie: Writing is just a - a pipe dream. You can't really make a living doing something like that. Actually, that's how you end up teaching.
Hank: Ouch!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie: Are you ok?
Hank: No, I just got my ass kicked by a J-crew catalog - I'm not OK.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: This is frowned upon.
Jackie: Give me a break. You once spent an entire class ranting about how much you hate Coldplay. Something tells me you could care less about what's frowned upon.
Hank: Still one of my favorite lectures.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: You still love me?
Karen: Always, that's the problem.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 3: "Verities & Balderdash"

Hank: Do we think the ladies have gone too far with the sex positive feminism? I mean I know they're all down with the pornography and the shaved pudenda and what not, but do we really think this is the path to liberation?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: Are you sexually harassing me right now? Because if you are, I think I'm going to have to report you - for giving me a serious boner.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Hank: She's not much one for chatting - texting, yes - twittering, tweeting, twatting, staring solemnly at the old man.
 • Rating: Unrated

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