Californication

Californication Season 4 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 4 Episode 4: "Monkey Business"

Marci: What? I'm not good enough to get knocked up by god? F**k you! Some friend you are.
Charlie: That monkey was a deviant and a c**k blocker.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marci: The rabbit done died.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan Kasdan: You smell like cigarettes, champagne and cool ranch Doritos.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: Are you guys really sisters or is this kind of like some white stripes deal?
 • Rating: Unrated

Marci: Let's get this golden shower started.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zig: Not you Corrine, you give lousy head. You're timid and you lack focus. We need to get you some Ritalin.
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Karen: Let's go get you a pregnancy test.
Marci: And some snacks?
 • Rating: Unrated

Zig: Of course I haven't had an erection in the past decade but that's another story, but that doesn't stop me from giving face rides to my sister wives right ladies?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: I got a date with my dong and some hotel pornography, the good stuff too, penetration and everything.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 3: "Home Sweet Home"

Heather: Hey do you want to try it from behind?
Charlie: Absolutely, that's my favorite.
Heather: Me Too.
Charlie: Right? Because it gets your spot right?
Heather: Right, that yes and because I can multitask. The emails just pile up if you don't get to them right away.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Becca: Yeah I don't laugh as easily as I used to.
Hank: Don't I know it.
Becca: Guess things aren't as funny as they used to be.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marci: You remind me of Charlie physically. You like his f**king doppelganger Stu you're all bald and pear shaped and s**t, it's really kind of creeping me out.
Stu: Marci that all may be true but I'm also rich as f**k and hung like a moose.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marci: You know what's weird? I am horny as f**k. No seriously, I beat off twice this morning. Ugh, OK fine, I made love to myself. Christ on a stick Karen what is it about talking about masturbation that freaks you our so much? You know you like to flick that bean of yours!
 • Rating: Unrated

Charlie: You write a good script and they will come...all over your face baby!
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: I was just putting my thoughts in order when I was rudely interrupted by the ill affects of self-medicating.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: Honey, I didn't mean to force moisture from your face.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 2: "Suicide Solution"

Sasha: How do I look?
Hank: Good enough to s**t on.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: Probably not the best idea for me to get involved with the actress who is going to play the girl that I raped, allegedly.
Sasha: I get what you're saying, but that doesn't mean I don't want one or more of your fingers in my vagina right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sasha: Your client is being very naughty. I think you should send him to my room without any supper.
 • Rating: Unrated

Eddie: You got me?
Hank: No, you represent everything I hate, but I do find you highly entertaining, continue please.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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