What is a hairy scary A-lister to do? She calls the Marster over there and what does Marci do? She accidentally tears off a piece of Nicole's labia. Majora not minora, but there's blood everywhere. The movie shuts down.


I don't do balls.


What is it like to stare into the business end of Sandy Bullocks vagina? This woman knows.


You're like a bald Benjamin Button aging in reverse. You're going to die a big pink quivering Jell-O, baby come on!


Marci: It's nice to be with a grown up for once.
Charlie: I used to be a grown up...once.

You made your bed, and then you fucked me in it.


Don't blame me because you were born with a clit for a cock and a tiny little beanbag to house what passes for balls.


Hank: So fucking mature that I want to punch myself in the dick.
Karen: Do it!

So what are you the Robin Hood of rapists now?


I love me some morning sex. Daylight, smelly puss, bad breathe, bring it!


It's about a guy trying to keep it together while falling apart.


A little bit of hypocrisy is fine Dad, but I'm the normal one here.


Californication Season 4 Quotes

Remember how fast my masturbation video spread? That was unnerving.


Hank: What's that look?
Charlie: What look?
Hank: That shifty somewhat cunty look of yours.