Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

It helps to have daughters in low places.

Hank

Tyler: He slapped you in the face with his dick?
Charlie: Shh! Yes multiple times, I think he left a trail of dog water.

You are going to enchant an entire generation of teenage boys with those pound puppies.

Hank

You've got to let the cash be your laxative Hank.

Stu

Oh I'm sorry. Turns out I'm quite the Fruit Ninja.

Hank

That's what happens in a relationship, you stop caring. The next thing you know the sex is sporadic, the blow job's bi-annual and ass play is out of the question.

Hank

He's not good or bad, he's a work in progress.

Karen

Page one, why the fuck are you fading in?

Hank

She's the kind of girl a guy meets when he's too young and he fucks up because there's too much looting left to do.

Tyler
Displaying quotes 19 - 27 of 71 in total