Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

Let's do the one where Charlie is still your husband, but he's upstairs in a wheelchair.

Stu

I'm gonna beat the fuckin' Bi out of you once and for all woman!

Tyler's 2nd Mom

Becca: Sometimes I think you wish I stayed some asexual little goth muppet creature forever.
Hank: You say that like it's a bad thing.

You know what they say? Whatever doesn't kill us makes us even more annoying.

Hank

Hank: That's it? You're just gonna stand by your man?
Karen: That's what I do.

Stu: I know I'm not a handsome man, but I am a very successful man. I know what it's like to be hit on by pretty young things who want something from me.
Charlie: Must be nice, wish I did.

Richard: I gotta come clean Hank, she's been through too much. No offense.
Hank: Some taken.

Holly: I shook my money maker to an entire album form him, Guns N' Roses, "Appetite".
Hank: Great album.
Holly: The best! I lost my cherry to it, front and back.

Come on back to bed. Let's californicate.

Hank
Displaying quotes 28 - 36 of 71 in total