Chuck

Chuck "Chuck Versus the Beefcake" Quotes

(Chuck's cellphone rings)
Ellie: Chuck. That's Sarah. Don't you want to answer it?
Chuck: Oh, you know, I'm gonna see her later anyway, so.
Awesome: Yeah. Sometimes you got to play hard to get. Cold and detached is a very powerful aphrodisiac, babe.
Ellie: So is abstinence. You want to try it?
Awesome: Not getting involved.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chuck: Something wrong with you and Anna?
Morgan: She's out of town, we're actually really good. No, it's my mom and Big Mike, they're like teenagers. They just keep going at it and keep going at it. The man moans like a wounded sea lion.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sarah: You want to break up again? I caught some chatter through bites of cereal on the surveillance tap. Sorry. It's an occupational hazard.
Chuck: Um...of course. Look, Sarah. It's not you, it's me.
Casey: Probably not the best idea to give the "it's not you, it's me" speech to a trained assassin wielding a knife.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chuck: Hey, can we... can we get a little closer on this picture of Cole, maybe push in on his... groinal area?
Casey: What, you seeing something you like down there, Bartowski?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Big Mike: Grimes! Or should I call you son? Who the hell are all those geeks over there at the Customer Service desk?
Morgan: You were supposed to hire the new green-shirt today.
Big Mike: You want to do the interview? Get a little taste of what the power of management is?
Morgan: Hm...why can't you do it?
Big Mike: Well, your mama asked me to stop by the house today to take care of a few things. There hasn't been a man around in a while and certain things have become...neglected.
Jeff: Like what?
Big Mike: Uh, the plumbing's a mess. I got to get over there and get to lay down some pipe. I got to snake the drain, make sure everything running smoothly again. You're in charge, son. Just think: all of this could be yours some day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Casey: (about Cole) We don't have much time here, Walker. So get to his room, get his belt off. Make it a quickie.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chuck: Hey, morning. Aren't we missing a house guest?
Awesome: (to Ellie) Honey, Honey. It'll be okay. (To Chuck) Your boy dropped trou last night.
Chuck: Excuse me?
Awesome: The bearded buffoon sleeps au naturel. Which I respect. Just not on my couch.
Chuck: Appetite gone. I am so, so, sorry.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cole: This is gonna get ugly. What level is his pain tolerance?
Sarah: I'd say about a one outta ten.
Chuck: What? A one? I'd say, I'm at least at an eight.
Sarah: Chuck, the torture hasn't started yet.
Chuck: This is the pre-torture? Okay, okay, put me down for a one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Morgan: Hey, Chuck. I was thinking that, you know, maybe Ellie seeing me naked was actually a blessing in disguise.
Chuck: Not for her it wasn't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chuck: Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I'm moving out.
Ellie: Oh, yes!
Chuck: And moving in with Morgan.
Ellie: No!
Morgan: Oh, yeah. Video games and nudity all day and all night...
Sarah: (knocking on the door and entering) Oh, I'm sorry. (to Chuck) Can I talk to you for a second? It's kind of important. (They leave together)
Morgan: Talk about your third wheel...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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