Chuck

Chuck "Chuck Versus the Ex" Quotes

Captain Awesome: Okay, so how did everyone come with their chest compression?
(Captain Awesome walks into the room and sees Buy More employees beating up their aquatic dolls.)
Captain Awesome: Come on guys, what's wrong with you?
Jeff: I drink too much.
Lester: My parents had impossible standards.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Chuck sees Jill and ducks under the table)
Associate: Is there a problem?
Chuck: Can you tell me if the attractive brown-eyed, slightly egg-headed brunette with an extremely cold heart is still there?
Associate: She's here. Why? Who is she?
Chuck: Jill Roberts, my ex-girlfriend. She broke my heart. I need, I need a diversion. Would it be a terrible imposition for you to pull the fire alarm?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chuck: You see, she broke my heart. She destroyed me. She took all of my confidence, my mojo.
Casey: You had mojo?
Chuck: I was on my way.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chuck: Oh and by the way, she slept with Bryce Larkin.
Casey: Hmm. Who hasn't?
(Sarah shots Casey a look)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chuck: She owes me an explanation.
Casey: No, she doesn't. She exercised her First Amendment right to dump you.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Sarah: I know it's hard, but tonight you have to be a spy first.
Chuck: Yeah, it is hard. I'm not like you, Sarah. I can't turn my emotions on and off like some robot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jeff: Man, if I wanted to take tests, I would've been a boat captain.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: Morgan, are you holding my underwear?
Morgan: Wait a second, wait a second. Wait, I-I need to be very clear about this. Okay, the only thing I came in here to steal was a CPR test. So any suggestions to any pervy related to your panties--underpants is, frankly, outrageous.
Ellie: So you deny being a perv, but you admit to being a thief?
Morgan: Do I at least get points for honesty?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(After Jill injected the serum into Chuck)
Jill: Okay, that has a modified version of the viral strain. Now your body metabolizes the poison and the antiviral serum is going to be created from your blood.
Chuck: Poison? Poison?! I thought I was getting the antidote? You just gave me poison?!
Jill: Yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Casey: Look, Bartowski, my job is to look after all the citizens of this nation, not just the girl who raises your flag.
 • Rating: Unrated

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