Chuck Season 2 Episode 16: "Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon" Quotes
Jeff: Morgan Grimes is so tired of listening to Big Mike punch his momma's time clock, that he actually showed up for work on time today.
Lester: Okay, okay, well Morgan Grimes is so disturbed by what Big Mike is doing to his momma, that the thought of Jeff doing the same thing to Anna is actually sweet, sweet relief.
Jeff: Oh snap.
Morgan: That's good. Laugh it up, fuzzballs.
Lester: (About Anna) My God, could she really be...unrepulsable?
Morgan: I'm beginning to think so.
Jeff: No, sir. Not on my watch.
Morgan: What are you suggesting?
Jeff: You're going to need a quart of peanut oil, some bubble wrap and as much yarn as you can find.
General Beckman: Mr. Barker, I understand you were hurt protecting Agent Walker. I'm told you showed great courage.
Cole: Just doing my job, General. Actually, it was Chuck who showed great courage on this mission. He was also injured in the line of duty.
Casey: He got clipped by a window sill. It's as pathetic as it sounds.
Morgan: What are you reading there, sweetie?
Anna: Did you know IKEA sell 17 kinds of home shelving? I can only pronounce two of them, though.
Phase one of "Operation Repulsion". The obscure and disturbing hobby.
Lester
Lester: Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Morgan: Okay, but how am I gonna...
Lester: Shhh, bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
Jeff: And business is good.
Cole: (to Sarah) After that it was eight, maybe nine guys until the door.
Chuck: (to Casey) Oh, come on! We're supposed to believe that he took out nine guys and escaped a Fulcrum holding facility all by himself? Please, I don't think we can trust this guy.
Casey: I've done nine before.
Chuck: You've taken out nine guys?
Casey: Just saying it's doable.
Morgan: I can't move in with you, Chuck. Because I'm moving in with Anna. She loves me and she wants to move in with me and I want to make her happy. But I want you to understand.
Chuck: I do. Buddy, seriously, I totally understand and furthermore, I think that you are absolutely making the right decision.
Morgan: That's awesome. Thank you.
Chuck: Is she gonna be okay with your string cheese habit?
Casey: Let me ask you something. When you escaped from Fulcrum, did you really take out nine guys?
Cole: The truth?
Casey: Professional courtesy.
Cole: It was more like 12. I just don't like to boast.
Busgang: You're the guy who shot me!
Chuck: It was an accident, I swear. It was the first time I had ever handled a gun and the first time that I'd shot someone. Clearly, those two things must be connected in some way.
Chuck: (To Morgan about Anna) If you don't stop testing her, she's gonna choose to be with someone else. And then you will have realized, and unfortunately too late, that you lost the catch of a lifetime.
Lester: Counter point. She's not the catch of a lifetime. She's a scheming tart who will harvest your organs and sell them to the highest bidder.
Chuck: Why are you trying to repulse Anna?
Morgan: No, no, no, no, no. Lester, it's ridiculous. What I was trying to do was simply test her, that's all.
Chuck: Testing her why?
Morgan: Because, Chuck, because she's trying to get all serious with me and--and I wanna make sure that she loves me for me and not...other things.
Chuck: (To Jeff and Lester) Excuse us. (To Morgan) Are you crazy? What other things could she possibly be loving you for? I mean, honestly, buddy, you know that I love you, but you're lucky to have a girl in your life who loves you for you, even though you are, in fact, you.
