If he takes care of you the way he takes care of that car, then you're one lucky lady.

Mechanic [about Wes]

I haven't historically had luck treating the asshole.

Dr. Ryan [to Wes]

They are the yin to each others' yang. I hope you have a trick up your sleeve to unite their chi.

Captain

Did you fix them yet?

Captain [to Dr. Ryan]

Is anybody allowed to be pissed off anymore?

Wes

See, he waived his right to be sober.

Travis

Wes: Sweet couple. Wonder what they got each other for Valentine's day.
Travis: Look's like they got each other restraining orders.

Everyone is guilty until proven innocent.

Travis

You should have Dr. Ryan help you overcome your shyness.

Wes [to the Captain]

Man, that' s not how you spell thank you!

Travis [to Wes]

You don't have to come. It's dinner time. Go eat a burrito.

Wes [to Travis]

Travis: We hate people who don't help people when they ask for directions.
Wes: We also hate gun runners.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 90 in total

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Common Law Quotes

If he takes care of you the way he takes care of that car, then you're one lucky lady.

Mechanic [about Wes]

Travis: We hate people who don't help people when they ask for directions.
Wes: We also hate gun runners.

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