Favorite Community Quotes
Pierce: So what's the deal Jeff, you leave your stones in your other suit? Why didn't you wrap that guy in the face?
Jeff: For the same reason I floss, have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case. I'm over 23.
You know who has real conversations? Ants. They talk by vomiting chemicals in each other's mouths. They get right down to brass tacks
Jeff
Ooh, no-no juice!
Troy [on wine]
She's a stripper. Life sued her and she lost.
Jeff
Come on I'm dean and my hands are so clean at this moment, I am stapling something.
Dean [singing]
I swear, they're just for sex!
Chang [about handcuffs]
Some flies are too awesome for the wall.
Abed
I am Punch-Kicker. My punches have the strength of kicks.
Punch-Kicker
Latvian Independence Parade. Don't look at me, they had the proper permits.
Troy
I wanna see if those wiener dogs are born that way, or if they start off normal and then get wiener.
Troy
You listen up, Pierce! I'm gonna tell you what my mother told me when I wanted to quit cheerleading. 'You're not very pretty, you have no boobs, and you can't do a basket toss to save your life.' But you made a commitment. So pick up your pompoms, Pierce, stuff your bra, and get ready for the team bus to forget you at a Taco Bell, because life is tough. But we soldier on, and that's just the way it goes
Annie
Shirley: Mother Hen? I think we're about the same age.
Britta: Sure, unless time is linear.
Shirley: I'll make your ass linear.
Britta: That doesn't make any sense.
Shirley: I'll make your ass sense.
