Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

Girls are supposed to dance. That's why God gave them parts that jiggle.

Troy

Landline? Ok, Grandma Bell.

Chang

Abed: You gotta let me out!
Toby: No, not until Stockholm Syndrome sets in.

I need Purell for my brain.

Annie

As long as you're happy...I'm unsettled.

Jeff

Ooh, no-no juice!

Troy [on wine]

You go, girl!

Troy

Britta: this cause is really important to me
Annie: Are you saying we're not allowed to protest? Britta, you sound like Guatemala
Shirley: Sounds like someone has the case of "someone likes to use fringe politics to make themselves feel special but doesn't want to do anything"-itis

If farts are fair game, so is God.

Duncan

We named the yam "Pam." It rhymed.

Abed

When you become roommates with friends, the things you love about them become the things that make you want to smother them with a pillow.

Britta

Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?