Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes

I'm sorry Annie. I'm not the worker-bee type. I'm more of a silver back gorilla with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.

Jeff

She was born in the 80s, she still uses her phone as a phone!

Troy [about Britta]

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I need Purell for my brain.

Annie

Add Eat, Pray, Love soundtrack to workout mix.

Dean Pelton

I piss warnings. Pig.

Britta [to Chang]

We named the yam "Pam." It rhymed.

Abed

Holy makes-complete-sense-at-this-school!

Jeff

Britta: This is a lock of my hair.
Troy: Creepy.

If I'm gonna cheat, I'm not gonna write information from a book on a piece of paper, that's practically learning for God's sake

Jeff

Annie stop. You're acting like a little school girl and not in a hot way.

Jeff

Community Quotes

Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes

I'm sorry Annie. I'm not the worker-bee type. I'm more of a silver back gorilla with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.

Jeff