Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I used a pneumonic device. "Kevin Come Over For Gay Sex."

Pierce

Imaginary Britta is right--and ONLY Imaginary Britta.

Abed/ Fourth Wall

Abed: She can make babies for me.
Troy: Oh and I can't?

Clean up on aisle busted.

Troy

Professor Kane: You may proceed, Ms. Edison. But do so with caution. Need I remind you: this is NOT a courtroom!

Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes

Are you being meta?

Shirley [to Abed]

Don't tell me what I can't do! What are you, Cosmo's July quiz?

Dean Pelton

Troy: Is it black Michael Chiklis?
Annie: No!
Pierce: Is it white George Foreman
Britta: You guys are talking about the same person. He's biracial, his name is David and he's a human being.

This is the Jonestown of dinners.

Annie

Congratulations, you failed a class so easy that people passing in the hallway get contact credit.

Teacher

Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I used a pneumonic device. "Kevin Come Over For Gay Sex."

Pierce