Britta: I'm a psych major! Words are my weapons!
Security Guard: I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons.

If farts are fair game, so is God.

Duncan

Drug addict?? You're a pie pusher!!!

Britta [to Shirley]

I'm a werewolf who feeds on selfish vampires!

Annie

Uruguay sounds like "you're a gay."

Pierce

Getting rid of drugs was a good I-Bee-A.

Abed

Is it Jean Claude van Overbite?

Jeff

Ice cream is everywhere, but never on your thighs.

Troy [on heaven, rapping]

I piss warnings. Pig.

Britta [to Chang]

Did you know Greendale students are technically in the Army Reserve? Let's say a little prayer for peace.

Dean Pelton

Downgrading your lifestyle is your chance to grow as a person, maybe even become one.

Britta [to Jeff]

Pierce: Abed the Arab? Is that inappropriate?
Abed: Sure.

Community Quotes

Britta: I'm a psych major! Words are my weapons!
Security Guard: I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons.

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.