Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

It's called a Complisult. Part compliment, part insult. He invented them. I coined the term. See what I just did there? That was an explainabrag.

Britta

I used a pneumonic device. "Kevin Come Over For Gay Sex."

Pierce

Shirley: You think religion is stupid.
Jeff: No, no. To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. I see the appeal and I would never take it away from anyone, but I would also never stand in line for it.

I need Purell for my brain.

Annie

Add Eat, Pray, Love soundtrack to workout mix.

Dean Pelton

I piss warnings. Pig.

Britta [to Chang]

Britta: I'm on sabbatical.
Troy: You're Jewish??

It's a scary, Chang-filled world out there.

Jeff

I call it "the Crazy Quilt of Destiny," mostly because "the Loom of Fate" was already taken.

Abed

I know you're all wondering how I do it. How do I balance straight A's, extracurriculars, and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night?

Annie

Pierce: Abed the Arab? Is that inappropriate?
Abed: Sure.

Community Quotes

Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly. We're gonna get that show back on the air buddy!

Troy

Annie: When you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a Baptism.
Shirley: Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven.