We named the yam "Pam." It rhymed.

Abed

I'm raising less money because I'm not jump starting date rapists.

Britta

Will someone please call all the ambulances?

Pierce

Pierce: I assume you are familiar with the Greendale bylaws.
Dean Pelton: I am not.

I remember when this show was about community college.

Abed

Murray: Wherever there is air, we have eyes.
Troy: Gross.

Does anyone have an alliance I can join? I'm really loyal.

Chang

Can we make this quick? I have to give a banana to Annie's Boobs.

Troy

There are two things I don't do well--apologies and drawing duck bills.

Buzz Hickey

I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.

Troy

Harrison Ford is irradiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions!

Jeff

You seemed smarter to me when I met you.

Jeff [to Britta]

Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I hope you like getting balled.

Dean Pelton