Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

Come on, hands people! It's 90% of Spanish

Senor Chang

That dude was hard core racist. Like 1800's Disney style.

Troy

I wish my mouth was farther away from my brain. I wish my brain had its own brain.

Troy

Hickey: If I come over there, there are gonna be two sounds: me hitting you...twice.

I know you're all wondering how I do it. How do I balance straight A's, extracurriculars, and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night?

Annie

The text message was sent exclusively to black students, and one French kid named LeBron.

Annie

As someone who faked being a lawyer for seven years, I appreciate your commitment to the bit.

Jeff

Britta: So what's the context for constantly calling me as a lesbian?
Pierce: If the wallet chain fits... I'm just trying to help you find yourself.

We're human beings, not the editors of Teen Vogue!

Britta

Ooh, no-no juice!

Troy [on wine]

I'm sure it's not biggie, but I'm a horny man so I'm only half present.

Jeff

Community Quotes

I like your sweater. Did it come with a golden retriever?

Jeff

A 100 year old man spent 30 years creating a video game? This I have to see.

Jeff