Community Season 2 Episode 11: "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" Quotes
Abed, I can't make it this year. I have a new family now. You'll meet them one day. You're a man now. Take care of Dad. Wash your dooper.
Professor Duncan (reading card from Abed's mom)
Abed: It's the first season of Lost on DVD.
Pierce: That's the meaning of Christmas?
Abed: No it's a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.
Who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?
Troy
Abed: Everyone be perfectly sincere. Humbugs are attracted to sarcasm.
Jeff: Wow. Somewhere out there Tim Burton just got a boner.
Abed: Fair warning, guys. A journey through winter wonderland tends to test your commitment to Christmas. So when I say test, I mean Wonka-style. I'm talking dark. My advice: Stay honest, stay alert, and for the love of God, stay between the gumdrops.
Abed: If I can find the meaning of Christmas, everything will go back to normal.
Jeff: Asterisk.
What do you care about Christmas Abed? You're Muslim. Don't your people spend this season writing in angry letters to TVGuide?
Pierce
