Community "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" Quotes
Professor Duncan (reading card from Abed's mom): Abed, I can't make it this year. I have a new family now. You'll meet them one day. You're a man now. Take care of Dad. Wash your dooper.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: It's the first season of Lost on DVD.
Pierce: That's the meaning of Christmas?
Abed: No it's a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Troy: Who taught you therapy, Michael Jackson's dad?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: Everyone be perfectly sincere. Humbugs are attracted to sarcasm.
Jeff: Wow. Somewhere out there Tim Burton just got a boner.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: Fair warning, guys. A journey through winter wonderland tends to test your commitment to Christmas. So when I say test, I mean Wonka-style. I'm talking dark. My advice: Stay honest, stay alert, and for the love of God, stay between the gumdrops.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Abed: If I can find the meaning of Christmas, everything will go back to normal.
Jeff: Asterisk.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Pierce: What do you care about Christmas Abed? You're Muslim. Don't your people spend this season writing in angry letters to TVGuide?
• Rating: 3.1 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 7
