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Diffuse the IED of dishonesty.


Professor Kane: You may proceed, Ms. Edison. But do so with caution. Need I remind you: this is NOT a courtroom!

Sorry about my partner. He's been on my edge ever since we switched.


Dean Pelton: I'm inclined to agree with the man in uniform.
Jeff: Shocker.

Clean up on aisle busted.


We named the yam "Pam." It rhymed.


Starburns: Where's the ketchup?
Troy: That doesn't make sense! Ketchup is a condiment!

Pierce: I fell asleep in a sun beam.
Abed: Likely story.
Troy: Actually it is. I used to live with him. It's sort of adorable.

Troy: How did we get the short straw?
Abed: It's not a short straw. It's a hot potato.
Troy: Yeah, well, it looks pretty cold to me.
Abed: Cold or dead?.
Troy: Survey says...
Abed: We can't both do the zinger.

Jeff: If it's any consolation, she got me here on a very misleading text message.
Annie: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.

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