Community Season 1 Episode 12: "Comparative Religion" Quotes
Bully: You want to dance?
Britta: Maybe to some show tunes.
Jeff: No, I want to beat the crap out of you and I'm going to enjoy it because you're just like this school: you're obnoxious, you're cramping my style and you smell like french fry oil.
- Permalink: You want to dance? Maybe to some show tunes. you're obnoxiou...
True or falso or none of the above. That doesn't make any sense.Jeff [taking exam]
- Permalink: True or falso or none of the above. That doesn't make any sense...
Pierce: Agnostic, the lazy man's athiest. I'm a born again.
Pierce: We had a re-birthing ritual in my friend's hot tub. I'm now a level five laser lotus in my Buddhist community.
Britta: That does not sound like Buddhism, are you sure you're not in a cult?
Pierce: Just by asking that question, you put me down to a level four. You now owe me 2000 energon cubes.
Troy: Do you know how foolish you sound right now? What else do you believe in, blood transfusions?
- Permalink: Agnostic, the lazy man's athiest. I'm a born again. Oh... W...
Britta: The real reason men fight is to release their pent-up gayness.
Pierce: That guy wasn't gay, he had a mustache.
- Permalink: The real reason men fight is to release their pent-up gayness. ...
Pierce: So what's the deal Jeff, you leave your stones in your other suit? Why didn't you wrap that guy in the face?
Jeff: For the same reason I floss, have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case. I'm over 23.
- Permalink: So what's the deal Jeff, you leave your stones in your other sui...
Bully: Give me a winter doodle.
Jeff: If you're trying to be menacing, maybe you shouldn't call the cookie by its name.
- Permalink: Give me a winter doodle. If you're trying to be menacing, mayb...
Shirley: I made you all a little gift because you're like my new family.
Pierce: If it stands for "What Would Billy Joel Do?", I'll tell you right now, he'd write another crappy song.
Troy: Yeah, in your face Billy Joel.
[Troy mouths who is that to Annie, who mouths back I don't know]
Shirley: It stands for "What Would Baby Jesus Do?"
- Permalink: I made you all a little gift because you're like my new family. ...
Happy last day before winter break. Time to visit our loved ones. Some of you will travel as far as 3 miles! Don't forget to visit our winter wonderland in the quad where were giving away up to six semester of free classes. Wow, what's that sound? Is that the tip tapping of secular boots on on the roof? That must be another sign that it 'tis the season because rumor has it that non-denominational Mr. Winter is on his way to the student lounge.Dean
- Permalink: Happy last day before winter break. Time to visit our loved one...